Thursday, March 31, 2005

Why I'm Here Instead of UConn

A friend of mine attending the Avery Point Campus at the University of Connecticut (13 minutes driving distance) and I frequently get into not-so-heated political discussions. He's the kind of student who thinks along the same line as InstaPundit, without all the blended puppies and would probably love the Neo-Libertarian mag currently on display at QandO

Earlier today he asked me "If something like the New Deal that was set up allowed McCarthy to pretty much do what he wanted why would he want to impugn it?" My antennae perked up immediately. When McCarthy is mentioned in a history class, the results tend to be not good.

I couldn't think of an answer, so I just responded "Because it was an economic disaster?" (Which it was, of course)

But no, that wasn't what the question was about. The question was: "Name three problems with McCarthy and his followers." (emphasis mine) - Followers? McCarthy had his own cult now? Ah, yes - the McCarthyites, cultists who wanted the Communists out of the State Department and the rest of the Government (don't get me started on Henry Wallace). He had to explain why McCarthy was a hypocrite. (Jeff Goldstein might be the only one who could get an A+ on this assignment, BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY, of course)

I asked him what he had already written the benefits were. He told me "We weren't asked about that." As I suspected. McCarthy is nothing but a force for evil, of course. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, then, when he remarked that she once snapped at a student for saying that welfare "was useless." Not a good sign. I'm working contacts and could get an interview with this student as early as Saturday. Sadly, I cannot find any information on the teacher, a Dr. Steenburg - I can only find her last two articles, and they are not linked. Perhaps I can find one in the library. She teaches Child Law , US History, and Maritime History (among other things, I think) And perhaps we can order her A Patriot's History of the United States, by Schweikart.

*As for the pervert-Teacher case, I'm still waiting for the student to get online so we will be able to draft a letter to the department chair. That's probably also coming Saturday.

Enjoy the Baba Gannouj, and don't rest until your teachers stop telling you how to think!

Confirming The Obvious

Another link found on the arguably farther-right-than-I-like Frontpage

1981 Pope Assassination Attempt Planned By Soviets

According to adherents.com, nearly 1 billion people identify themselves as believing in the Doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church (such as myself) and (occasionally if not always) looking towards the Pope for moral clarity. Where does that put a nation who planned on assassinating an important figure to over 1/6 of the Earth's populace (at that time)?

Now, this has been rumoured for years, and I've always thought it to be true, and it looks like the rumours were in fact true. You won't hear many people crying about it though, because it was "for a greater good, honestly" or something like that. Maybe there would be an outrage today if the CCCP had tried something equally stupid as assassinating the Caliphate (which would deservedly* evoke an outrage in its time). I guarantee we'll see a poll saying 65% of Europe still doesn't believe it, with Poland and the UK making up the most of those that do. Seriously. 1 billion people. A number the USSR would have done great harm to and probably executed afterwards anyway. Can we PLEASE stop showing that abomi-nation love and affection?

* - Even if you don't buy the Religion of Peace in general (like LGF), assassinating someone that 1.5 billion people look up to would be an incredibly stupid thing to do, and the USSR probably would have tried to do it had it existed.

Server Issues?

Blogger's being a complete pain today. (Maybe many people are simultaneously blogging about the same thing [if so, curious as to what it is?], or not) Note the double post of my 1:36 endeavour. Irritating little thing. And no, don't tell me to switch to MT 3.15, because I tried it out and it just confuses me all to smurf.

I found a lot of stuff to say all of a sudden, so if there are no posts until 4/2, then it's all Blogger's fault.

I would also like to mention something else regarding the Horowitz story. Don't you think today is a little close to some other certain day that happens to fall on the first of April? (Please, do not forget this is tomorrow. People around me always do and are ALWAYS sorry)

I Hope Someone Is Pulling A Hoax On Horowitz

Or else now the same group that caters to the environment and nature is now trying to deliberately superimpose its will on it. Again.

This. Is. Preposterous. And had better be a hoax.
Yes. You read that right. Looksism.
No. Seriously. What. The. Smurf?!

And naturally, who's blamed for it? HETEROSEXUAL MEN!

Oh, give me a f*cking break. Where's the story of women oppressing men under 5'6 in height(What about 5'9, for that matter?), by not choosing them over the 6'1 guy of equal everything else? Oh- it's discrimination against men: doesn't matter. Then again, it shouldn't matter at all. Nature tells these women what kind of guy they want, just as nature tells men what kind of woman they want. And you can't tell me there's not at least one guy who finds anything moving attractive seeing as how they're so often portrayed as "humping anything that moves" (feminist student from AP Bio class, 2003-2004 school year, grade 12)

If being rejected hurts your self-esteem, so be it. I know being rejected nearly killed me when I was 16 (a parade of cuts along my right arm can prove that), but I got over it.

"Many people are valued for their looks." - Yes. Look at the rest of the animal kingdom. That's how it works. You love nature, so embrace it.

"Women are persecuted by looksism through objectification, fat oppression and the media's message, Aufenthie said." - No. Please tell me they did not just use the phrase "FAT OPPRESSION". No. Seriously. What the f*ck. The only country where fat people are being oppressed is North Korea. Look around there - don't see any, do you? Come on - if Michael Moore can make a $100 million documentary (you knew that was coming), and (insert grossly overweight Republican) can become a famous politician/celebrity, what Fat Oppression is occurring in America now?

Naturally, (if real), this was sponsored by the school's "LGBTA-Q community". Every time you turn around, they add another letter. I'm really starting to miss GLAAD, which by now probably has a LGBTAQSFNBD-division, or at least "The Artist Formerly Known As" division.

Quote to remember:
"I don't care if you're white, black, purple, gay, straight, sheep-f*cker, christian, jew, satanist, republican, democrat, liberterian, fat, skinny, male, female, whatever. As long as you're competent and you don't f*ck children, you're good for the job."

All Hail Diversity! (as Acidman loves to say)

If someone can tell me that this is in actuality a hoax, I will be greatly relieved.

There.

Terri Schiavo has died.

Like I said before I deleted my (conflicting) post earlier, I was divided on the subject. On one hand, I disapproved of what I saw as Congressional Overreach (by both parties) and Republicans crying "Activist Judiciary" at rulings they didn't like. On the other, I also disapproved of Michael Schiavo's adultery/bigamy (gotta pick one), and I still think that anyone who says that starvation/dehydration was the most humane/ethical way she could die is a dope. But that's just me.

And both families should be ashamed for fighting over her corpse. That's just unnecessary.

Let's all give a moment of silence (or pray, if that's what you prefer), and also get back to more non-Sensationalist issues (as the press portrayed it, anyway), and heal that Libertine/Conservative split, shall we?

Gonna Be Waiting

Sent an e-mail to Congressman Simmons (R-CT, 2nd district), approximately two weeks ago. Still waitin' for a response. First letter to an actual elected representative. Any idea how long it takes them to get back? Juss curious.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Rubella Eradicated? When Did That Happen?

So I'm behind the times. I was visiting the Vodkapundit today and perusing his week old posts when lo and behold, I see a link to the Earthtimes page! And apparently, during the one week I DID have access to a television instead of the Blogosphere, the United States eradicated Rubella
from its borders. Well... I guess I'm just going to have to swear off television from now on, or else I'm never going to get any good news ever again.

Think of that - biologists actually DID do something benefiting the human race. No, seriously - pick your jaw up off the ground and quit laughing.

Need To Waste Two Hours?

Flash Flash Revolution

Exactly what it sounds like, except for those of us who can't dance. ^-^

Just don't get caught on the job.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

3/29 Sports Wrap-Up

Today was the day my brackets imploded upon themselves.

Terps season finally ended. I'll leave it at that. They were 1-7 in the 8 games I blogged them, and 3-0 in games I didn't. >_<

Rockies won 4-3 after going into the top of the 9th up 4-0. Dang. 17-11 is the best you'll see that team (Spring Training or no) for a long time. I'm predicting a fourth place finish by no more than 3 games over last. 95 losses are a possibility, with 100 an outside shot.

The Bulls have won six in a row. That's good. The Cavs made a great comeback last night, though I have to be wary of any team that gets down 17 points to New Orleans in the first place. The real question: Will the Lakers finish with a worse record than the Clippers for only the 2nd time in 25 years?

UConn's Charlie Villanueva is entering the NBA draft. I really see him as the sort of pompous type of player whose college game is going to look golden compared to his pro game (Similar to Andrew Bogut, except at least Bogut doesn't have the aura of smugness that Charlie does, which gives him a huge heads-up)

Who goes #1 in the NBA Draft? I'll get back to you the week before. ^_^

The Merits of Academic Professionalism

Okay, my physics teacher was mentioned in my first ever post here. Here is his website. Or at least should be. If the link is wrong, tell me. Go ahead and visit. He likes visitors, and you should see some of the stuff he did in his younger days.

Getting a PhD from Princeton is no easy task, I'll say that, whether the year is 1961 or 2005. However, there's a couple problems with his teaching style nowadays that I don't exactly want to link to age, but I think it could afford to be looked at.

He was hired in 1962. What's so special about that? It's not that it means he's 70, but it means he was hired before the Vietnam war really got started up. Thus, by the time it really got around to the teach-ins and sorts, he already had tenure.

Why is Dr. Kim so different? He spends the first fifteen minutes of class talking nothing but conservatism. (My favorite quote of his - "The Russians, they used to think they had the best system in the world, but they were just silly. Silly silly Commies. Silly, yes? Very good."

"Hey!" You say - "That's pretty cool, not to have a leftist indoctrinator brainwashing your classmates!" But I say "Hey! I'm paying 13,000 dollars a semester for classes like physics!" The man is a self-described "Freedom-loving person", but that's not what his job is. When a class is 50 minutes, and less than half of it is spent on actual physics, and then 80 percent of the class scores less than a 70 on his exam, there's a problem.

This is an actual quote from one of his lectures:
Okay, the next is electricity. You should know how to sum up a field and force. Do you know the difference between field and force, yes or no I am telling you not to move, but you move. You always do what I tell you not to. Then force is what. Q and Iznit, yes or no, c’mon. Do you remember this problem here? This is A. A, and this is what, V, Iznit? We have a charge, Okay. If the charges are the same, what happens, c’mon. Force will add up, Iznit? In what way, c’mon. This force is coming this way and this force is coming this way, Iznit? So what happens, c’mon. Tell me, please tell me what happens. I am not going to tell you in the exam, what happens, c’mon. How would you add? Vector sum. How would you do the vector sum. Yeah, triangle. What happens to vertical components, cancel out? Horizontal components add. How many of you remember this as a homework problem. The problem also called for the reading. It’s the same problem. Logic dictates that it’s the same. Very very good. Yeah, we will have this kind of problem, and you had a lot of exercises about charges in a vector field.


That's basically how every single lecture goes, except during this quote, he actually tried to teach us something. It's easy to see how we can all be failing his exams. Now, I don't know what to do about this, but I really needed to rant on the subject. If I had been the only one to fail (okay, score lower than 70 percent) on the exam, I'd account it to my lack of studying (though I studied rather often). But when about 4 of 5 people are failing it, then there is something amiss.

"O-kay..."

After reading The Puppy Blender's link to Townhall and UNCW professor Mike Adams, I figured I had to share this story which had me rather disturbed.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that this blog is in general very critical of lawsuits and lawyers (sorry, Oddybobo, but when you're a judge that'll be no problem, will it? ^_^), but sometimes I'm informed of something that I just find downright disturbing that I would hope DOES result in some sort of suit, or at least dismissal.

I've been around looking for jobs in different school districts across the country recently, and speak with students around the country about different vacancies in the system and general needs that the educators need to emphasize. Recently I spoke with a 16-year old female from the Philadelphia region who is exceedingly intelligent, but has enough personal problems to place her in danger of failing and the usual Saturday detention.

She was going over her daily schedule, and mentioned that one of her male friends was having a discussion with one of the teachers holding the detention, a mathematics educator aged about 24 and 25. She managed to catch the teacher and her friend discussing her behind her back, and what caught my eye was that, without even pausing for reaction, casually stated that she heard the teacher say "Yeah, I'd like to bone her too." And then she continued on her description of the day without even missing a beat.

I stopped her. Aren't teachers' supposed to be models of professionalism? 24 or not, this was highly inappropriate. She made an off-hand remark that he used to pat her on the head in the past when she sat in the front of the class and frequently calls her "Cute" and "Adorable". Seemingly complimentary at first, how many of you trust men in their late teens to mid-twenties to only be thinking that when they speak about a female? C'mon now. (Sorry, Frank J...)

She sits in the back of the class now, which is a good start, but it also signifies something else. Now, even though I can't stand how the current sexual harassment laws are written, they are the law, so we have to abide by them. Surprisingly, I cannot find a sexual harrasment policy on their website, though I would assume their student handbook would have one. It would probably include the oft-repeated phrase "Hostile Work Environment" though. I'd bet money on that. If someone has to move to the back of the class in order to avoid being flirted with/hit on/ the like, does this qualify? I'm sure hundreds of thousands of feminists not reading this blog would cry "Yes!"

In steps the wonderful Volokh. Read that piece. Being Volokh, it's lengthy, but an excellent read. So if it doesn't fit the wonderful definition of harrassment, what does it matter?

Well, further prodding revealed that "Meh, this happens all the time", and "I've just learned to ignore it." Apparently not if she had to move to the back of the class. In my thirteen years in grade school, I never saw any harrassing of this type occur, but when I was in eighth grade, a (rather dubious) harrassment of this very sort occurred, the offending teacher was fired in four days. What really got me was that she had basically desensitized the entire ordeal. This is not how I remember feminists.

So what happens with this guy? Does he continue teaching for another 20-odd years and continue to flirt with 15 or 16 year old girls? Do we REALLY want that to happen? We've certainly busted several women teachers in the past year for having sex with male students. Thankfully this situation hasn't degraded to that, but what happens when a guy finally does get caught again? How far does the head roll? And will it be this guy? Do we wait and find out? Now, I can't exactly reveal any information (such as which of the 50 Philly-area high schools it is) just yet, but if things do in fact continue on this route, I may have to go against my masculinist roots and call the irritating feminists into action. Sure, I may be a hypocrite, but you never really notice until it's your friend on the receiving end of it, now do you?

Monday, March 28, 2005

Updated Sports Musings

1. Kentucky got ousted on a REALLY questionable set of calls. Illinois is still alive, as is the UNC. Illinois is in my title game. So I have one of two still remaining. I did have 7 of the elite 8 teams correctly chosen, by the way. Forgot about Skip Prosser's Bill Cowher-esque chokes. Did I mention that I told you that NC State was going to beat UConn? ^_^

2. Baylor surprised the UNC women tonight, and Rutgers plays Tennessee tomorrow, so I've still got both my title game teams still alive in that bracket. Maryland lost, whereas I figured their home-court advantage would be enough to overcome Ohio State. It was not.

3. Maryland has somehow gotten to the NIT semi-finals (now that I'm blogging about them again, they're going to lose), and Memphis is still kicking around too, so both of the title teams are still alive in that one. So 5 out of 6. I seem to get a lot better at this come tournament time.

4. Nik Caner Medley has certainly stepped up his game as of late, right? Well, seeing as this is what he's supposed to have been doing since he got to start in the program, I can't say that he's playing like a star. Now that we know he can do it, I'll wait to see if he does it next year before I remove all the criticism I've given him. I think that I'll win this bet.

5. Andrew Bogut is not going to be an NBA superstar, and is not worthy of a #1 draft pick. Please, stop kidding yourselves. It's boguS. If he wins rookie of the year, then sure, I'll eat crow.

6. Pro Basketball: The Bulls have won five in a row while I haven't blogged them, a la the Terps. Though I haven't forgiven them for drafting guys from UConn and Duke (two of my three most hated schools), they're on the right track, even by using those same guys.

7. Non-basketball related: Rockies are 16-11 in Spring Training with four games to play. I wish they could be 82-78 in the regular season with four games to play. But that'll never happen because of everything. Blast you, everything!

Evil Glenn's April Fools Day Prank (A Filthy Lie)

[A Filthy, Filthy, Filthy Lie]

Evil Glenn scowled. Frank J and Harvey had gotten him. While half-asleep, he had woke up that morning to prepare his breakfast smoothie. But something was amiss. It tasted so strange. He splashed cold water in his face to wake himself up, and he looked down into his puppy storage bin to see what was wrong with his latest drink.

Cat fur.

Harvey and Frank had tricked him into drinking a kitty smoothie, today, April 1st. Then it hit him. He had been April Fooled!

It was time for revenge.

Evil Glenn got into his Evil-Glennmobile and headed off to teach. However, he couldn't see out his back window, and he could hear people cheering him on from behind him. He pulled over and saw the sticker attached to his back window "Jesus Christ is my Savior". Angrily, he ripped it down, knowing that basil's Coalition of the Willing was behind it.

It was time for revenge.

When Glenn got to his office, there was another surprise awaiting him - a note from the University President to meet with him immediately. Upon reaching the office, the president pushed a paper over to Glenn entitled "Capitalism Roxxors!" by one "Evil Glennn Reynolds"

Evil Glenn knew immediately that the three "N"s signified the work of Ogre. The President of the University just looked at him. "How do you explain this, Dr. Reynolds? You realize that all university professors are to take an oath to Communism's Glory before their hiring, do you not? If I recall, you took the oath yourself and renewed it for seven consecutive years!"

"This paper was not written by me! I would never soil the name of the great Mao, agrarian reformer of great justice!" Glenn ripped up the paper and stormed back to his office. That was three times he had been nailed by the Alliance.

It was time for revenge.

Evil Glenn had no sooner sat down at his desk when his phone rang. "Yes? What do you mean? OUT OF BUSINESS?! WHO THE SMURF COULD HAVE PUT ME OUT OF BUSINESS! McCain?! How could he stop my penguin porn business?! WHAT?! PANDA PORN?! THAT'S BRILLI-I MEAN, DISGUSTING!"

Evil Glenn slammed the phone down. "Hmm... how can I get into the business of selling Panda Porn? It seems... intriguing... Wait a minute..." He looked at his caller ID

(523)-310-3441: Babaganoosh, T M

"ROAR!" roared Glenn. For the fourth time before 8 AM, he had been pranked upon by Alliance Bloggers. It would not be the last, as he promptly logged onto his computer to blog, but received an e-mail instead touting "Lebanese Protest Goodness!" Naturally following his baser instincts, he clicked on the link.

A windows button appeared on his computer, saying "Check your leftmost file cabinet!" Glenn was puzzled, but once again, he did. As he did, a bucket of excrement fell upon him. He knew somehow that it had something to do with monkeys, and thus SpaceMonkey was implicated. (Didn't I say it was a filthy, filthy, filthy lie?)

It was time for revenge.

Five tricks would have to be repayed. Well, close to it, anyway. He still had that advantage over the Babaganoosh in that he still held his reporter captive (and knew how to use caller ID). He also still held the advantage over SpaceMonkey in that he had murdered more hobos. Glenn locked his office door and went to work.

First was the blog. He set up an April Fools' Template and began giving Insta-Lanches to the Deaniac/Far Left side of the blogosphere, as well as the Uber-Islamist "wing" of the 'sphere (Electronic Intifada received its largest visit total ever), shocking even bloggers not in on the act, like John Hawkins of Right Wing News, who was heard to say "What in the smurf?!" and Michelle Malkin, who was suspended somewhere between meltdown and probably meltdown.

He then hit gold when he visited IMAO. It seems SarahK was to become SarahJ! This was getting to be perfect, but then he found something even moreso, and it became less of an April Fools' prank and more of one of Evil Glenn's evil schemes of pure evil evil! The sight of this picture gave him all the incentive he needed to crash the wedding and then steal Frank's soul! He began to laugh in his own maniacally Heh-ish laughing way. Not surprisingly, this was immediately followed by birds flying away from their perches on trees a la a horror flick. Evil Glenn just continued his laughing. Frank J's soul would be his.

*By the way, congrats to Frank J and SarahK! ^_^

Return to Normalcy

Okay. The blog has not been updated since 3/18/05. I'm sorry. Firstly, I was visiting my family back up in Connecticut (yes, I'm so elite!), and then suffered a relapse of the malady that had been plaguing me for about two weeks.

So I was down and out for about three days when suddenly my left ear went absolutely berserk. The doctors put me on amoxicillin, and then augmentin, neither of which really did anything. By the time my ear had finished hurting, I had only about 50 to 70 percent of my maximum hearing left in it. At 18, already with 20-130 vision, that's not exactly something I need.

So after that, I found out I was/am failing two of my classes. That's uber-f*cking stupendous, isn't it? Especially when one of them is physics, which I have done all of my work in. How I'm failing that is absolutely beyond me. And chemistry - well, I could have seen it coming. It's just not a course I feel is necessary for me to be taking.

By the end of spring break I had become/was still single and not lovin' it. It was always a rather complicated situation, but I guess it's not any more. Meh. I'm only 18, I'll live.

But like I said, it wasn't exactly a terrific spring break. But now I'm back, relatively healthy, re-focused, and ready to kick something into high gear or at least kick its behind. I may have missed the entire Sorta-Pundit/basil blogwar, and may have lost half of my daily readership, but I'll bring it back. I may have missed the entire collapse of the Kyrygzstan government, but I'll get bak on the tape. Give me two more months.

This is a declaration of the return to normalcy. The Babaganoosh cannot be defeated - he can only be contained, and even then, one plays with fire.

Hear me, world? Bring it on.

Update (3/30/05): Thanks to any readers who actually recognize where "Not nostrums, but normalcy" comes from. Come to think of it, thanks to any readers who actually came back. ^-^

Friday, March 18, 2005

A Blog War

If you haven't already heard, basil's blog war with Sortapundit has taken a new twist. Apparently, the Ohio midget strippers term and the Jamie Spears term have both fallen (I'm not typing them out to prevent me from accidentally putting MYSELF up on the list)

However, since Basil and Oddybobo are two of my three blogparents (please, for the love of all that is good and chewy, do not ask), ties ask that I at least give a little aid, though I have no desire to be "against" the Sortapundit.

I could be a tad mischievous (sp?), however.

Penguin Porn
Murdered Hobos
Gizoogle
Giant Flaming Wombats

That is all. I have to catch the 4:05 train to Boston now, so see ya all Saturday! ^_^

What The?

I received THIS e-mail in my university inbox this evening.

Congratulations on being elected as an undergraduate student senator for 2005 - 2006. You will be a key person in bringing undergraduate student concerns and initiatives to the attention of the Senate Executive Committee and the Senate.

I look forward to working with you during the next Senate year, which begins officially at the Senate Transition Meeting on Monday, May 9, 2005. You will soon be receiving a formal letter from the Chair of the Senate, Professor Arthur Popper, inviting you to serve on a Senate standing committee. Please review the list of committees available to undergraduate students and seriously consider investing time in service to one of them. Most of the Senate business is researched and developed in its standing committees.


This would seem to be a pretty neat thing. It's rather odd though, seeing as I recall absolutely nothing leading up to this. Maybe someone nominated me. Better find out who that was. Should be an interesting experience.

Anyone have any experience with this sort of thing?

Thursday, March 17, 2005

North Korea's Grievances - A Precision Guided Humor Assignment

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
(An INCREDIBLY gratuituous over-use of links post)

Due to blogger bugginess, this post was accidentally posted when it was around 5 to 10% complete. Ignore this post for now. It's going to be updated.

Harvey of the Alliance has commanded us to set our sights upon a foe other than Evil Glenn this time around.

Why is North Korea so grumpy?

Well, I do believe that my wonderful agents/multiple personalities have been able to dig up a few things that could be bothering the Totalitarian Police State as of lately.

1. Go here. Look whose name appears under the title. They don't like that.
2. That whole "outpost of tyranny" escapade.
3. That South Korea was not united with the North under Communism after 1953.
4. That South Korea got to host the World Cup in 2002.
5. Kim Jong Il lost a $15,000 bet on the first Survivor...
6. ...and another $30,000 on the first winners of American Idol (yecch)...
7. and then somehow LOST on his own version of North Korean Idol!
8. Michael Moore once tried to eat the country because he thought "DPRK" was pronounced "Da Pork". This resulted in Kim Il Sung's death in 1994.
9. Jealous that Evil Glenn wouldn't post any pictures of North Korean Protest Babes. Indeed.
10. Were never tortured at Abu Ghraib by women's undergarments.
11. Were upset that the flattering article about them didn't occur in a major newspaper.
12. Have never been misquoted or pseudoepigraphized by anyone named "Yong Tang"
13. Kim Jong Il lost in a hair vs. hair match against Jesse the Body Ventura in 1981.
14. US is stonewalling investigation into strangled diplomat.
15. Upset that US used a North Korean nuke on Antarctica.
16. Bill Clinton's selection of Monica was an insult to emaciated North Korean women everywhere.
17. The US keeps electing Jews to public office.
18. That whole "Capitalism" thing. Kim is not a fan.
19. Mysterious drop in all things puppy since DPRK-instapundit showed up on the scene.
20. Kofi Annan once mailed them a stern warning, but missed a key on his computer and spelled "DPRK" as "DORK". Kim was not amused.
21. Dick Vitale won't stop talking about "The Dukies!"
22. Robert Blake never asked any Koreans to kill his wife.
23. Michael Jackson once molested every single child in North Korea, leading to the current state of affairs.
24. BUSH LIED! PEOPLE DIED!
25. HALLIBURTON!
26. Can't believe that Brit Hume has yet to resign.
27. Were promised pics of JEFF GANNON TRUTH GOODNESS, yet received nothing.
28. The "Axis of Evil" Speech
29. The Red Sox won the world series. Made me pretty miffed too.
30. Bobby Lee's portrayal of him on MADtv left much to be desired. Firstly, Bobby wasn't b@t$#!t insane enough.
31. Kim's tired of that whole "Dissent is Patriotic" meme.
32. He's sick and tired of countless spam on his blog.
33. Is sick of hearing people STILL using the phrase "All your base are belong to us"
34. Bilateral Talks replaced with Unilateral Invasion
35. A monkey killed Kim's family.
36. North Koreans are upset that the rest of the world has food.
37. Still miffed over the moon landing. C'mon! It was 35 years ago!
38. Creation of Israel? They're still bitter. Well, those who can read a map, anyway.
39. The US HAS STILL NOT SIGNED THE KYOTO PROTOCOL!
40. The US is acting way too Heteronormative.
43. Found out he wasn't on the phone book of Paris Hilton
44. North Koreans are still stuck playing Sega Genesis consoles.
45. Uh... the South has a much higher standard of living than the North does.
46. Can't even get smeared by FrontPage anymore.
47. Frank J. peed on all of their cats' heads.
48. Aquaman couldn't save them from any ACTUAL trouble.
49. Got confused with Vietnam one too many times.
50. North Koreans still upset that they got the part of the country bordering Russia
51. Someone once compared Kim's hair to a merkin. (I hope the blogosphere doesn't eat me alive for that one)
52. It's that time of the month. What? They need an excuse for each week of the year?

Oh... wait. I guess they do.

Update: Because I can:
53: There's no such thing as North Korea. Karl Rove created it in an attempt to bolster the Neo/Theo-Cons scare tactics platform so they could elect Chimpy The Shrub McChurchyBusHitler.
54: Justice Kennedy found that they had a right to be grumpy while perusing the Constitution and comparing it with foreign documents.
55: They got confused for North Carolina too. (sorry, Ogre ^_^)
56: Because Stone Cold Said So. (That's almost a decade old reference now - wow.)

Another Set of Musings

I'm tempted to make this into a category, but I have to still categorize everything from today back until March 12.

Point One: As someone 1/4 Irish, allow me to say Happy St. Patrick's day. You know what? Happy St. Patrick's day to all of America. To paraphrase and degrade what the World Body claimed on 3/11, "We're all Irish now" ^_^ (well, Captain Ed might want to question Sinn Fein in that case, but they're the exception)

Blogging will be rather light up until Saturday morning. I'm kind of going on vacation, but not exactly. You see, Spring Break technically starts at noon Friday and I'm headed back home. It's a 6 hour train ride (which usually takes closer to 8), and I'll be in sometime Friday night. Yep. Back to Connecticut. I wonder if mAss Backwards can point me towards any other Conn-servatives. I'll check later.

Good to see the Terps won last night (85-72, over Oral Roberts). They had a 7-game advantage on us, including 9 in the win column, and we still beat them. Makes you wonder "Did they throw the season?" Or maybe it doesn't.

Anyway, before I get to the light blogging, however, I have to respond to The Alliance's new Precision Guided humor assignment. Look for that between now and 5 PM. I have to write up a Cell Bio 230 Lab Report (due in 5 hours), and then I'll be right on it.

Post-script: Happy birthday to my mother. She's 48 born on this day in 1957 as young as ever. Happy birthay, mom!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

How Much Do You Know About The US?

From http://www.factmonster.com/spot/quizzes-us.html:
(found via "Kryponite For The Stupid", who I found via Laurence Simon)

Go to that website and take the following quizzes
American History I, II, III
Citizenship Test I, II

There should be 52 questions (American History III has 12), and the site says there are 54 (maybe American history II has 12 and I missed it)

Add up the total number of right answers in your first 50 questions (to make math simple) and multiply by 2. That's your percent score.

For example, out of the first 50 questions, I got 43 right. That makes 86 percent. (shameful for me). Out of the 52 I took, I got 45 right. If you've got a calculator on hand, that comes out to around 86.54 percent, I think, so not too much difference.

How'd you do?

After you do that, take World History I and II. There are 20 questions. If there's one thing I really fault America for, it's our generally abysmal knowledge of ancient history. Note those kids at school who are Neo-Gothic but never once sacked Rome...

I got 13 out of 20, which is 65%. Passing, but dismally.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The Asian Century: Delayed 100 years?

C'mon - you all know that you've used this phrase at least once. Googling it brings up approximately 8.91 million hits, most of which are speaking of the demise of the "American Century", and that the Asian economies (most notably China and India) will be overtaking us by 2050. In an earlier post, I mentioned that the population of the world by 2050 will be about 9.1 billion. Guess where between 3.5 to 4 billion of those people could be - that's right. China and India.

Now, we've seen what the Authoritarian dictatorship of China is willing to do to a tiny island wishing for Democracy (that would be Taiwan, peoples) - what happens, when 2050 rolls around, when the oppressed in China begin attempting to flee to a democratic nation en masse? What democratic nation would that be? Probably India.

So we're looking at a Democracy projected at about 1.75 to 2 billion people, and an authoritarian/totalitarian regime numbering just below or at that mark? I don't know about you, but a war involving two countries armed with nuclear materials, who are right next to each other, with a total population possibly exceeding 3.5 to 4 billion only brings one word to mind. (Warning: Foul Language) The word is cata-fucking-strophic.

Look at a map of Asia or two. If anybody is in the business of freeing Tibet, you should either A) make a move within the next 45 years, or B) Start selling nukes to India and hope they can do it. China will not sit back and watch democracy spread from India as its economy eventually overtakes China. This thing is going to be extremely ugly. If the 20th century was the Century of Totalitarian Genocide (except in Sudan), then the 21st century will have to receive a name all its own. At lowest estimates, I would guess the demise of 50 million people in a war like this, assuming Nepal hauls ass out of there and Tibet decides not to free itself. Somehow, the United States and Europe would have to create a "Mutually Assured Destruction" policy for these two nation-states, or it's going to be even uglier.

Time for some math:

In World War Two, the death total of Soviet Troops are unknown, but most estimates put the number of Russian dead at about 13.6 million. The population of the CCCP of that time was between 125 and 150 million. Let's average those out to 137.5 million. That's greater than the death toll by a factor just over 10, so let's say 9.89 (or 10) percent of the Soviet populace died.
Now let's take a Democratic country that fought in WW2 - say, Britain. Approximately 300,000 Brits died in military combat during WWII (source here). In 1940, the population of Britain was about 48.22 million (source here), so we have .62 percent of people's deaths' in a democratic country.

Extrapolating, worst case scenario
India: Populace: 1.85 billion * .0062 = 11,470,000 military deaths
China: Populace: 1.85 billion * .0989 = 182,965,000 military deaths. (!)
Sounds unlikely, doesn't it? I agree. Looking at any estimate of military dead between 50 million and 200 million(!) raises concerns of accuracy, but remember - these are best* and worst case scenarios. Another thing you should note: These are the totals of deaths from men and women in uniform killed in battle. I did not take disease or anything of the sort into account here.

Using WW2 estimates that about 1/2 as many people died out of battle as in battle, that would be placing a 17.21 million toll on India, and a preposterous 274.4 million total on the head of China. Don't those seem a little off? Wouldn't you expect that more Indians die than 17.21 million? I would too. Seeing as India's not separated by a body of water (the mountains can be bypassed from other routes), the total would be raised upwards.

The winner** of that war will then get to be the competitor for the United States, and we can finally begin truly speculating about an "Asian Century". The loser of that war... well - there's two ways to look at that.

India wins: Tibet is free (yay!), Taiwan gains independence (yay!), China's population is cut by 10 percent. India's is cut by 1 to 2. United States makes sure India doesn't go all Soviet-Union on us. That would suck.
China wins: Authoritarian dictatorship basically continues invading into India and takes it over, making Pol Pot look like a sissy man. Expect unbelievable death totals if this were to occur. (Think 250 million+ here) Mao never really appreciated the Hindu (or Sikh) religions, after all.

What will the United States be doing? Well, despite having a huge vested interest in making sure India wins that, we'll be down in Latin America and South America fixing the mess that Hugo Chavez and two following generations left us. Thanks, Hugo. Asshole.

That is assuming, you know, that we don't elect Democrats 7 times out of 10 leading up to 2050. In that case, we're screwed.

*-In this scenario, "Best Case" is really a misnomer
**-As is the word winner

Update, 3:00 AM - I was directed to this site during the course of my research (note that it's from 2001): It seems a tad optimistic, and I do believe that this will make the war of 1962 look like Child's Play. Seriously. Even if the US somehow does not outlast it, the Sino-Indian war is basically set in stone. There is no way that these two countries will be able to coexist forever. It may be pessimistic, but I believe that it's coming.

Post Script: For all you older bloggers: Be glad you won't be around to see this. In 2050, I'll be 64. (begins humming Beatles' music)

Heteronormativity Alert!

I, along with the rest of the University of Maryland student body, recently received this e-mail:


The University community has been considering how best to protect faculty, staff, and students at Maryland who potentially face discrimination on the basis of gender expression or gender identity. Specifically, the University Senate discussed and unanimously passed a proposal to amend the campus Human Relations Code by adding "gender identity and gender expression" to the protections outlined in the Code, and I approved the Senate's action.
After extensive review, the State Attorney General's Office determined there is no legal necessity to amend the Code to include these categories, and the University may interpret the Code, without revision, to include both gender identity and gender expression.Based on the Attorney General's advice, I am writing to make it clear that members of our campus community will have recourse for discrimination on the basis of gender identity or gender expression under the University's Human Relations Code as it stands without amendment. The Code and Enforcement Procedures are available online at http://www.ohrp.umd.edu/compliance/hrc/intro.html

I have two and-a-half questions about this update:

1) For a "bastion of tolerance" such as a public university, shouldn't this have been made clear before? I mean, shouldn't a student body comprised mostly of left-leaning people already be fully tolerant of the gay community, as we're led to believe? My roommate last semester was a gay guy. Sure, we differed in sexual orientation, race, religion, and political affiliation, but I wouldn't trade the stuff my old roommate taught me about college life for anything. We were actually going to make it into a sitcom before we decided "So we're different - who cares? We're Americans, aren't we?!" Damn - that guy was cool. Is it really conservatives who despise the gay community, or is it closer to being represented on each side then we're led to believe?

2) Okay, I digress - but secondly, is this in any way shape or form related to the infamous Jada Pinkett Smith Heteronormative "fiasco" a few weeks ago? Something about the time frame makes me think that "Indeed. Yes it does." I ask you to question other university students who may read your blogs and ask them if they've seen anything like this in their e-mail inbox?

2.5) I'll probably tick off a lot of people with #2.5, but the whole transgendered/unisex bathroom thing really irks me. I don't know about you, but I have a very difficult time using the lavatory if I think a female (even if she believes herself to be a man) could walk in there at any moment. Please. If you do not have male organs, no matter what you believe yourself to be, please do not use the men's room. I have had this problem at least 3 times. You are not the only one who can become uncomfortable, you know. However, this does not apply to single-person bathrooms, which, even in my high school, were used by members of either sex. But if it is a multiple-person lavatory, no, you should not be allowed to use whichever you please. The question is, are they going to take this and establish these bathrooms?

More Random Crap

Sorry for the utter lack of updates yesterday: I suffered a relapse in my cold/flu illness thing. I haven't been this sick since I left Connecticut. Throwing up, coughing my spleen out, runny and stuffy nose simultaneously while still bleeding... oy gevault. I loathe sickness. Thankfully I've finally started to come down with a fever, which is a sign that your body finally realizes that "Hey - something's not right". To make matters worse, my top two wisdom teeth decided to join their bretheren in the "let's piss off this guy" contest. Urgh.

Speaking of Connecticut, I have to get off my lazy rear-end and trek down to Union Station to get my train ticket to go back. Amtrak charges a freakin' arm and leg for those things. 204 dollars for a round trip? Jeebus Crispies, as they like to say nowhere.

I'm looking for a good graphing program that can do 3-d graphs. I think I may have stumbled upon something, but don't have the tools to investigate it. But now we know that everything that is comprehendable by humans can be mathematically modeled.

Still sick as a dog. Sick sick sickity sick. The fact that I'm already 0-1 in the NIT is NOT helping.

Rockies won again. That's good, despite the fact that it's still Spring Training.

Bulls are 32-28. Just got to stay ahead of those blasted Pacers.

I'll get to posting things in a bit - how about you just sit back and enjoy "teh 1337 gannouj"

Update: No, my rants on biology were in fact not inspired by Kristol's writing on environmentalism that apparently came out the day before. I'm just seeing them as we speak. I don't believe environmentalism is dead yet - hopefully by 2013.

Monday, March 14, 2005

NCAA Men's Tournament Predictions

Analysis for all three tournaments will come tomorrow - if I feel any better.

Play-In-Game Winner: Alabama A&M

First Round Upsets (9th seed or higher advances)
Chicago: 9 seed Nevada over 8 seed Texas
Albequerque: 12 seed George Washington defeats 5 seed Georgia Tech
Syracuse: 12 seed New Mexico defeats 5 seed Villanova (in OT)
Syracuse 10 seed N.C. State over 7 seed Charlotte
Austin: 9 seed Mississippi State over 8 seed Stanford

Second Round Upsets (5th seed or higher advances)
Chicago: 5 seed Alabama defeats 4 seed Boston College
Albequerque: All four top seeds advance from Albequerque
Syracuse: 10 seed N.C. state shocks 2 seed Connecticut
Austin: 5 seed Michigan state surprises 4 seed Syracuse
Austin: 9 seed Mississippi State stuns 1 seed Duke in overtime (you read it here first)

Sweet 16 (seed # in parenthesis)
Chicago: Illinois (1) vs. Alabama (5), Arizona (3) vs. Oklahoma State (2)
Albequerque: Washington (1) vs. Louisville (4), Gonzaga (3) vs. Wake Forest (2)
Syracuse: UNC (1) vs. Florida (4), Kansas (3) vs. N.C. State (10)
Austin: Mississippi State (9) vs. Michigan State (5), Oklahoma (3) vs. Kentucky (2)

Elite 8
Illinois vs. Oklahoma State, Louisville vs. Wake Forest, UNC vs. Kansas, Michigan State vs. Kentucky

Final Four
Illinois vs. Wake; UNC vs. Kentucky

Championship: Illinois vs. Kentucky
Winner: Kentucky

Women's NCAA tournament preview

Since two more 64-line posts would be way too long, I'm just going to abridge it.

First Round Upsets (in which any higher numbered team defeats a lower numbered one)
(Location of bracket in parenthesis)

9th seeded Purdue will defeat 8-seed New Mexico (Philadelphia)
9th seeded Louisville will defeat 8-seed Southern California (Kansas City)
9th seeded George Washington will defeat 8-seed Mississippi (Tempe)
10th seeded Houston will defeat 7-seed Boston College (Chatanooga)
10th seeded Utah will defeat 7-seed Iowa State (Kansas City)
11th seeded Rice will defeat 6-seed Georgia (Chatanooga)
11th seeded Old Dominion will defeat 6-seed Virginia (Tempe)

Second Round Upsets, Higher Seed Wins
5th Seed Arizona State takes out 4th seeded Notre Dame (Tempe)
11th Seed Old Dominion shocks 3rd seed Minnesota (Tempe)
7th seeded Maryland surprises 2nd seed Ohio State (Philadelphia)
5th seed Vanderbilt defeats 4th seed Kansas State close to home (Kansas City)

Sweet 16 now looks as follows: (seed in parenthesis)
Chatanooga: LSU (1) vs. Penn State (4), Texas (3) vs. Duke (2)
Tempe: UNC (1) vs. Arizona State (5), Old Dominion (11) vs. Baylor (2)
Philly: Tennessee (1) vs. Texas Tech (4), Rutgers (3) vs. Maryland (7)
Kansas City: Michigan State (1) vs. Vanderbilt (5), Connecticut (3) vs. Stanford (2)

Elite Eight then goes as follows
LSU vs. Texas, UNC vs. Baylor, Tennessee vs. Rutgers, Michigan State vs. Connecticut

Final Four: LSU, Baylor, Rutgers, UConn
Championship: Baylor vs. Rutgers
Champion: Baylor

NIT predictions

Since I cannot format this correctly, I shall just type in my predictions here, according to the bracket at http://nit.org

Preliminary Round:
1) Rice @ Southwest Missouri State: Winner - Rice
2) Davidson @ Virginia Commonwealth: Winner - Davidson
3) Cal State Fullerton @ Oregon St: Winner - Cal State Fullerton
4) Denver @ San Francisco: Winner - Denver
5) Kent State @ Western Kentucky: Winner - Kent State
6) Houston @ Wichita State: Winner - Wichita State
7) Drexel @ Buffalo: Winner - Buffalo
8) Hofstra @ St. Joe's: Winner - St. Joe's

First Round:
9) Western Michigan @ Marquette: Winner - Marquette
10) Texas Christian @ Miami of Ohio: Winner - Miami of Ohio
11) Oral Roberts @ Maryland: Winner - Maryland (yeah, I know)
12) Rice vs. Davidson: Winner - Rice
13) Cal State Fullerton vs. Denver: Winner - Denver
14) Boston University @ Georgetown: Winner - Georgetown
15) Arizona State @ UNLV: Winner - UNLV
16) Miami FL @ South Carolina: Winner - Miami FL
17) Northeastern @ Memphis: Winner - Memphis
18) Temple @ Virginia Tech: Winner - Virginia Tech
19) Vanderbilt @ Indiana: Winner - Indiana
20) Kent State vs. Wichita State: Winner - Wichita State
21) Buffalo vs. St. Joe's: Winner - Buffalo
22) Holy Cross @ Notre Dame: Winner - Holy Cross (will the Pope be watching?)
23) Clemson @ Texas A&M: Winner: Texas A&M
24) DePaul @ Missouri: Winner - DePaul

Second Round:
25) Marquette vs. Miami of Ohio: Winner - Marquette
26) Maryland vs. Rice: Winner - Maryland
27) Denver vs. Georgetown: Winner - Georgetown
28) UNLV vs. Miami FL: Winner - UNLV
29) Memphis vs. Virginia Tech: Winner - Memphis
30) Indiana vs. Wichita State: Winner - Wichita State
31) Buffalo vs. Holy Cross: Winner - Buffalo
32) DePaul vs. Texas A&M: Winner - DePaul

Third Round:
33) Marquette vs. Maryland: Winner - Maryland
34) Georgetown vs. UNLV: Winner - Georgetown
35) Memphis vs. Wichita State: Winner - Memphis
36) Buffalo vs. DePaul: Winner - DePaul

Final Four:
37) Maryland vs. Georgetown: Winner - Maryland
38) Memphis vs. DePaul: Winner - Memphis

Consolation Game: Georgetown vs. DePaul: Winner - Georgetown

NIT Championship: Maryland vs. Memphis: Winner - Memphis

Obligatory Quiz Results Post 2

Official Survivor
Congratulations! You scored 73%!
Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

The Zombie scenario survival test - found off ASV
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=5349989821747660792


All I have to say is... take that, Zombie Shakespeare!


What is your weird quotient? Click to find out!


18 percent of the populace is more normal, and 72 percent is more weird. Somehow, I don't think that's right...

The Tickle Brainteaser Test:
you answered 23 out of 30 questions correctly!

Congratulations! Your score is in the 91st percentile. This means that if one hundred people took the test with you, your score would rank higher than 90 of them on average.When we analyzed your test, we also discovered that when it comes to quantitative ability, you measure in the
83rd percentile. This score indicates you have unusually strong abilities when it comes to solving numerical problems. If there is a numerical pattern to be found, you'll find it. You've got a knack for noticing when something "isn't right." Whether you're conscious of it or not, you have an ability to simply understand when something doesn't add up. Also, when it comes to splitting the check, doing taxes, or determining the number of fans in a baseball stadium, you're the one people turn to.

General IQ test (iqtest.com)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Well, that's about 45 points lower than when I took the test at age 8. Disappointing.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Random Notes, Musings

I am rather sick. This is only the second time I've been ill here since August. I've taken I think 10 ibuprofen, 6 excedrin and 15 acetaminophen/aspirins. I don't have a headache anymore, but I've still got a stuffy/runny nose (don't you HATE that?), and I'm wheezing a lot. It's not exactly a fun time to be doing anything, but I have to get to posting my brackets tonight.

I dunno. I'm pretty sure I won't go 31-2 again this year in the first round, but my 1-4 record in the Terrapins last 5 games is surely not normal either.

I also had a strange hallucination or something this morning. Once again, I dunno.

I'd like to wish my brother a happy birthday today. He's 17. Just 15 more months of school left, kiddo. ^_^ (I've never called him that ever)

Enjoy the baba gannouj, but don't share, because if I eat any of it, my stomach will mutiny. <(>_<)>

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Trackbacks

...I have absolutely no idea how to use those things. Any assistance (i.e, a link to a tutorial or something) would be appreciated. I just can't figure it out. <(>_<)>

By the way, I'd like to announce that my first google referral came from someone looking up "Scotsman". I intend on getting stranger results than that in the future.

Evil Glenn's Investment Advice (A Filthy Lie)

Chief Harvey gave out the latest assignment last night, and he seems to get confused in the middle of it.

Everyone knows it costs more to get a one-line ad posted at Instapundit than it does to buy 120 seconds of airtime in the middle of the Superbowl. So what does Glenn do with all that money? I'll bet he's got a brilliant plan for it all. Which I want you to discover.

Your Filthy Lie Assignment this week is to answer the question:

If you asked Evil Glenn for investment advice, what would he tell you?

After losing Akatsuki two weeks before, I was in a downer. She was an excellent reporter, always with the best stories. Modestly cute, too - but she had disappeared. When Harvey sent this note out to the Alliance, I figured this would be my best chance to find out what happened to her. I quickly donned a John Bolton-esque moustache and packed my bags. I was going to Tennessee as a British businessman. The name was (insert British accent) Reg. Reginald Fairfield. (Do not ask how I know of this)

The trip to Evil Glenn's Evil Hideout which the University of Tennessee somehow ignored (it had a big "Kentucky Sucks" banner on it, so maybe they just figured it was a regular building anyway) was an uneventful one. However, as soon as I arrived at the door, it began raining blood. That was usually not a good sign.

When I opened the door to Evil Glenn's office, his chair was turned around. I could see part of his computer screen. It looked to be pornographic. Whether it was penguin-related or Lebanese-chick-related, I wouldn't know. Without turning around, he spoke. "Ah, Mitsurugi of Mitsurugi's Baba Ganoosh. I'm disappointed Harvey only sent you. Well, you and the Taco Bell Chihuahua, but I... dealt with that earlier. Let's just say tacos go great with pureed puppy." I winced. He continued. "Yes, so, Mitsurugi, have you come to find out about your female friend?"

"Actually", I started, "You've got the wrong guy. My name is Reginald Fairfield, and I'm looking for investment advice." My plan did not work.

"Reginald Fairfield? Don't make me laugh. Every evil law professor knows that was Boy Meets World, Episode 55." I cringed. I had only heard the name in passing. He must have looked it up on google in the three seconds I wasn't watching. Either that, or he had absolutely no life at all.

"Well, since I'm such an EVIL guy, I'll give you investment advice anyway. My first suggestion is that you either pay me 300 dollars, or you never leave here alive." I quickly paid up, not wanting to suffer the same fate as the chihuahua. "You should by ten shares of Homeless Orren Boyle's Oil. The stock ticker is, of course, HOBO. Just the name makes me want to worship Satan some more. Speaking of Satan, another wise investment is to sell your soul to him, like I did."

I interrupted. "Excuse me?"

Evil Glenn quickly recovered. "I like chocolate. Don't worry. Have one - it's not made of puppies. I haven't quite perfected that recipe. But as I was saying. You want to earn lots of money on the market? Invest in PenguiPorn, ticker symbol PGPRN. On a related note, Lebanese chicks are quite hot."

I interrupted again. "Excuse me? What does that have to-"

"SILENCE!" I silenced. "If you ever want to see your precious reporter again, you'll take my advice. If you own stock of any company that makes plush dolls, I suggest you sell it. The plush industry is looking at hard times ahead." I thought I heard a knock from the far wall, and a voice that sounded like Andrew Sullivan's, but then I figured I made it up.

It was then that the floor dropped out from under me and I found myself back outside. I had failed in both my missions, and all I learned was that Glenn Reynolds was a huge Boy Meets World fan. That made one of us. Man, I hated that show. I also had to report the bad news to Taco Bell. That was gonna be ugly.

Post Script: When dealing with Evil Glenn's investment advice, Caveat Instapundo Delenda McGannouj. Whatever that means. By the way - to answer the first question: What did Evil Glenn do with the money? Buy the "Calendar Girls of Lebanon". That, and lots of plush dolls.

Post Post Script: Anyone who followed Glenn's advice for the year ended up with a 1.4 million hit increase and 60,000 dollar net increase. They also sold their soul to Satan, got arrested for Penguin Porn Possession and got 10 years in jail for punching prison warden Frank J.

PPPS: I've been rather prolific in posting today, haven't I? Don't expect this again anytime soon.

Celebrity Jeopardy! Episode 2

Alex Trebek: Alright, it's time for another episode of Celebrity Jeopardy!

Crowd: *applause*

Trebek: Thankfully for our audience, the winner of game 1, Howard Dean, will not be making his appearance again until Game 4. Today, however, we have three Republicans vying for the title. If those of you in Hollywood can't remember what a Republican is, they're also known as racist, sexist, homophobic, poor-hating, greedy reThuglican Rovian Zionist evil nazi halliburtonesque Chimp-support- hey - who put this on the teleprompter? Hinchey? What the hell are you still doing here?

Hinchey: I'm here to find out the truth!

Trebek: ...Anyway, let's shed some light on our three Republicontestants. The first contestant is none other than President Bush himself!

Hinchey: Chimpy The Shrub McHitlerBurton! I knew it! You gave TREBEK a press pass too?

Trebek: Will security please escort this man out?

Bush: Heh... he doesn't even know half of the conspiracy yet.

Trebek: Our second contestant is self-proclaimed "Super Right-Wing Conservative" John McCain. John, welcome to the show.

McCain: Always a pleasure to be here Alex. Almost as much as it is a pleasure to silence bloggers. Now THERE's a bipartisan operation.

Trebek: Whatever. Our final contestant today is noted GOPper Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut. Joe, how're you doing?

Lieberman: Um... I don't know what I'm doing here - you see - I'm a Democrat.

Trebek: Are you sure about that?

Lieberman: Well, yeah. Seeing as I ran on the vice-presidential ticket AGAINST George over there in 2000 and campaigned for the Democratic Presidential nomination in 2004, I'm pretty sure I'm a Democrat.

Trebek: What do you say to this revelation, Mr. President?

Bush: I say Joey's done a great job towing the party line.

Lieberman: I'm not even in your party! Hey - are you even listening? Are you even AWAKE?!

Trebek: Zzzzz... oh... what were you saying Mr. Lieberman? Oh, nevermind. Let's just get to the categories. They are; 'Conservative Views', 'The Blogosphere'...

McCain: ...after me and Feingold get through with them, they'll surrender so fast as to be known as the Frogosphere...

Trebek: Please be silent until I finish reading the categories. The four remaining categories are... 'Former Presidents', 'North or South', 'State Capitals', and 'Famous Senate Klansmen'. I should tell you that 'Famous Senate Klansman' is one of our infamous categories in which every answer is the same. In this case, the answer is "Who is Senator Robert Byrd." Now that I've given you the answer, you can't get that one wrong.

Bush: I'll take "Bomb Iraq" for 87 billion...

Trebek: Let's just pretend you didn't say that and go with "Former Presidents" for 100. "This man was Ronald Reagan's vice president, and the 41st president of the United States. President Bush, you should probably know this one, as he is your father".

Bush: ...

Lieberman: *sigh* Who is George Bush senior?

Trebek: That's correct, Joe! You sure seem to be good with the history of the GOP.

Lieberman: It was twelve years ago! I defeated the guy's father to win my senate seat!

Trebek: Nevertheless, Senator Lieberman, you have control of the board.

Lieberman: I'll take Conservative Views for 200. And I won't get it right.

Trebek: Alright, Conservative views for-

McCain: Abortion on demand! Big government! Minimum income! Separation of Church and State! Marraige for Gays! 195 other things!

Trebek: No - Senator McCain, you don't have to NAME 200 views conservatives hold, you just have to... wait... conservatives don't even believe any of the things you just said regardless!

McCain: I'm conservative, I believe in them.

Lieberman: That's too Democratic-Partylike even for ME.

Bush: That's because you're a Republican... heh heh.

Trebek: Let's just go to Famous Senate Klansmen for 100. Alright. I already told you the answer, you just have to repeat it. What the?

Bush: Gaaaaak! Gurk! Help! Ah'm... chokin... cough! COFF! GAK!

McCain: *gives him Heimlich* What the? Were you eating pretzels AGAIN?

Bush: *holding pretzel* Um... no. What makes you think that?

Trebek: I think we're just gonna cancel the show tonight. Cut the film.

Lieberman: Did you see that? He left without even saying goodbye! What a rude man he is. I'm so mad that I could vote cloture on the bankruptcy bill right now!

Dean: YEEAARGH! *busts through wall*

Bush: Aw, crap - what's he doing here?

Dean: I hate ReThuglicans and EVERYTHING THEY STAND FOR! *grabs Lieberman*

Lieberman: I'm not a Republican! Dammit! Why does everyone think I'm a Republican?! I beat George Bush's grandfather, for crying out loud!

Bush: Hey, Alex - I'll take North or South for 300. I'm going with the North. I think they can win the Civil War... Alex? Alex? Aw, crap. Alberto, you didn't send Alex to Guantanamo, didja? Alberto? Alberto? YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bush: *wakes up* Dern. I thought I was on the telly-vision. I wish I could be on television. If only I had beaten President Gore... President... Gore? YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bush: *wakes up* Dern. *looks over in Laura's direction* Andrew Sullivan? YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bush: *still there* What in the? LAURRRR-RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA! *runs out of room screaming*

Jenna *coming from behind dresser*: Did he fall for it?

Laura *taking off AS mask*: Sure sounds like it

Barbara: I think he just gave Mr. Cheney another heart attack...

The Problems With Biology, Part IV

Part III
Part II
Part I

Okay, so the last three bio-posts seemed like nothing but incoherent rants on random affairs in the biological sciences, and were a complete affront to the Religious Right. O-kay, as I stated before.

What's the point of it? My point is that I've decided on my mission. My mission in life. It will probably fail, but at least I will know that I gave it a shot.

You may have heard of this man, Paul Ehrlich. This site gives a pretty good lowdown of the guy. In high schools across the country, and especially mine, his work is among the cornerstones of the beliefs of many teachers. His ideas were supposed to have been relegated to the dustbin of history, but AP Biology teachers (okay, biology teachers in general) never seemed to cease their fretting about running out of water, or materials, or overpopulation of the Earth.

The man is one of the cornerstones of the left-centric biology movement itself. While he himself is slowly fading from memory (you know, because he's always WRONG), there has been no shortage of followers to predict doom because "we're killing mother Earth" or something similar.

My very first point in this three-part series was that the new equilibrium being reached between blogs and MSM has shown me that this can be done as well.

It is my duty, as well as the duty of every good biology student left in the United States, to toss the "eco-weenies", the environmentalists, the conservationists, the animal-rights (but not human-rights) groups, and the rest of the "We hate Humanity" group OUT of biology. Forever. Biology is the study of life. We should of course be kind to animals, but sometimes an animal has to go in order for the human race to keep going. And remember, humans have veterinarians for animals. No animal gives a $#!t about treating humans that another member of its species attacked.

We must turn biology back to finding out where we came from, and finding out how to prolong life, and make life itself better. Food production must continue to soar, as new bioengineered (read: grown under different than usual conditions) foods make their way into our diets. We should continue neuropsychological studies - knowing how the brain works will be a huge part of the future. Protecting the rain forests is all well and good, but seeing as between 80 to 85% of the oxygen in our atmosphere comes from the oceans, the rain forests are more of an aesthetic value than anything else. (Oh yes, they're home to animals who possess human diseases unlike those we've ever seen, but we HAVE TO LET EVERY ANIMAL LIVE, of course). Remember - the whales do as much damage to the oxygen level of earth as we do every year. I forget where I read that. <(>_<)>

In summation:

1. Conservatives must get serious about an alternate non-petroleum based fuel.

2. Biologists need to kick the humanity-hating Animal Rights Activists and Enviro-mentalpatients (sorry - Eco-weenies) (sorry again - enviromentalists) out of biology. There is no place for the hate these people spew.

3. Conservatives need to be a tad more open about medical science. Faith healing really does not do the job, and it's really upsetting watching the Pope absolve himself of medical science during his final years. Then again, it's his choice. But that doesn't make it any less depressing.

4. "End-of-the-world-is-nigh" professors need to retire. The world is fine, and if you want to save resources, stop taking my oxygen. Do you KNOW how much oxygen you take in by breathing? Quite a bit.

5. People who want to save the environment (by which they mean trees), need to buy parcels of land with trees on it and refuse to sell. That way, the trees stay. Unless, of course, Kelo v. New London goes the wrong way. Then all bets are off.

Thanks for your time in reading this rant which took several hours to write. Enjoy the baba gannouj, but since I'm so tired, you'll have to cook it yourself.

The Problems With Biology, Part III

Part II
Part I

Alright. We've finished the environmentalists and the animal rights activists. What's next? Ah - yes. I've ripped into the left-wingers enough (until Part IV, that is). Now I have to start blasting the right-wing.

As I've noted, biologists don't help themselves often. We always are railing on about protecting the widdle animals or preventing Earth from somehow murdering 4.186 billion of us. The leftist bent of the two groups mentioned above absolutely kills biology. But the conservatives (which I am a part of) does not help biology in general. Why? Because conservatives don't take biology seriously.

Normally, "It's not really a science" is reserved for Psychology (it's a science - deal with it). However, I have heard Republicans say the same about Biology. The primary reason for this is because nearly all of biology is founded on Darwin's Theory of Evolution. It's unfortunate that a lot of conservatives consider this "bunk", but it's the case. Due to religious fervor, conservatives for a change are the ones that cry out "ETHICS!" when we deal with evolution and biological-psychology. Let me explain before sentencing me to hell. (And I've known I've been going anyway since the day I remarked 'God only said humans were good because "They're GRRRRRREAT!" was already taken' - ^_^)

Conservatives oppose the cloning of any sort of embryo. I'm sure they're out there, but I have never heard a reason opposing this other than "You're playing God", or "It's not right". I've never been able to understand why when I'm opposing the word marriage to be used in the context of gays, I'm doing God's work, but when I suggest cloning certain things to help people live, I'm playing God. I'm sorry, but it can only be one or the other.

Tests are sometimes done on animal psychology - how they think. This process is unique in that it's opposed by the left AND the right. I say the closer we are to understanding a simpler animal's brain, the closer we are to understanding our own. Now, this could be a good thing, or a bad thing, but by the year 2500, we will have most certainly figured out how to wire a brain. Of course, in the wrong hands, this would be the single most vile weapon ever created, which is why I'm setting a 500-year timetable instead of say, 250 years if we didn't have to worry about someone putting it to the use of brainwashing.

Conservatives also tend to detest experiments on primates, because usually tests on monkeys and apes are in terms of Darwin's Theory. Finding out how apes and monkeys think, again, gets us closer to figuring out how we work, one of the goals of biology since the beginning. Biology is meant to save human lives.

Other than the constant haranguing that makes them look like liberals though, conservatives hold only about one-fifth of the problems of biology in their hands. The other 80% is because of the two sets of people we discussed in the last two posts. I return to them in part IV.

21 Things That Make Me Smile

I got the idea from the wonderful Oddybobo, resident of Pittsburgh "Why do they let Cowher still coach there?", Pennsylvania, and also from irritationstation.com. A list of things that you love, make you happy, or that you're grateful for. I also thought I should do something to reminisce over my younger brother's birthday - which is tomorrow. He'll be 17. And I won't be 19 until May.

These are not necessarily in any order other than the order I thought of them.

1. I'm glad I was born in the United States, and that I am an American. I've been given an opportunity that approximately 6.1 billion people don't have and most likely never will. I intend to use it to the fullest.

2. I am glad I was raised right. My parents were rather lax in the early years, but when I was six, I had hit a young girl who was playing the game of "Give the boys cooties" or whatever the hell it was. From that day forward, my parents imbued me with a sense of "This is right", and "This is wrong."

3. Still on the topic of my parents, It makes me happy that they are still together. They will be celebrating their 30th anniversary on August 26, 2006. Though they weren't exactly married in ideal circumstances, they've made it last 30 years. Nothing ruins a child's hopes and dreams like a divorce. Nothing. Even though I haven't told them so since I was 11 (I'm actually tearing up forcing myself to write this next phrase), I love my parents to death and wouldn't trade the lessons learned during my childhood for the world. I hope they know that. They'll never read this, but I feel so much better just writing it.

4. I'm thankful that the rest of my family is terrific too. At almost any given time, I can call up my younger brother, or my older brother (who is 28), and have an hour-long chat. I'm also thankful that my sister-in-law is so cool, despite the fact she's a Red Sox and Patriots fan. (Hey, at least it's not Duke)

5. I'm glad that my family can afford to send me to a public university out of state. I'm allergic to several types of plant and animal life back home, and I have never felt healthier than I have down here at the University of Maryland. (go Terps! ^_^) No one on my father's side of the family has ever received a bachelor's degree in anything.

6. I'm incredibly happy that I know how to read, and that I know how to write. They say that between 2 and 3 billion people can't do either. That's rather disconcerting.

7. I'm happy that one of my first memories was the fall of the Berlin wall. I suppose that set a tone of things to come.

8. I'm happy that, even though it's Spring Training, the Rockies are 8-2. This is the last time I'm going to see them six games over .500 for a long time, I think. <(>_<)>

9. I'm happy because I can count 80 names on my buddy list, 35 of whom are guys. That's 35 prospective pallbarers (sp?) when I need them. ^_^ (okay, that was morbid)

10. I'm glad that my blog gets between 10 and 15 visitors a day that aren't me. I have no idea how that works. I'm also happy because my other website (for cartoon/anime/sound of their own voice loving high-schoolers and college students) gets between 20 and 25 unique visitors a day that aren't me. Sure, those don't sound like a lot, but blog for 3 months (I've only been at it 3 weeks), and that's 1000 people. What can I say? I'm an attention-monger.

11. I'm thankful I was taught the value of marriage, family, love, and morality. I still cling to the (extremely) old fashioned view that sexual intercourse is an intimate act supposed to be shared only between people who love each other. What can I say? For that matter, how many college students do you know who say that?!

12. I'm happy that I finally convinced myself to confess to myself (didja get that) that there's a little lady back home that I really do care about. It doesn't matter (well, it does to an extent) how she feels, but the fact that I was able to finally tell myself that I care makes me feel good. I'll probably be over her by the start of the next school year, but that's the way it goes. And hey, if she's not a conservative, it'll be even faster.

13. I'm glad I'm "secure in my masculinity". Let's just say I have no qualms at playing Dr. Frank N. Furter and leave it at that. ^_^

14. I'm happy because I possess the knowledge to play a musical instrument, and I have a nice singing voice (I was ranked #48 out of 1750 high school tenors in my state in 2004, btw - ^_^)

15. I'm happy that 61.6 million people made the right choice on November 2nd. I am a night-owl, so I stayed up to watch the results. When Ohio was called for Bush (Alaska was obviously in Bush's column) bringing his total to 269 and securing a victory, I was talking to my older brother on the phone. My cheering woke up the entire household. That was the happiest I had been in eight months. I'm also happy that I was one of the 61.6 million.

16. I'm thankful I'm male. No offense to the ladies reading, but I don't have to go through menstrual or labor. That makes me a happy person. (8D <=== me happy)

17. I'm happy that, even though I have really crappy vision (worse than 20/130), I was not hit with any number of myriad diseases that hits the population on a daily basis. The fact that I can walk is an addendum to this.

18. I'm glad we have the US military around. We wouldn't be the land of the free if we weren't already the home of the brave.

19. I'm glad I chose not to end it all back in 2003. Suicide is for quitters, and I was always taught never to quit. It was simple high school angst. Because I was so sheltered, I had never seen anything like it before (I didn't actually have any designs on any females until I was 16). I had thoughts, and cut up my right arm rather badly, but I never was able to go through with it, because I kept telling myself I was missing out on 45 years of life by doing it. That's the reason I have no tolerance for cynical, woe-is-me Neo-Gothika teenagers who love the color black, the darkness, and write poetry about death. Grow. The. F*ck. Up. I did. You can too. Knowing that I survived that phase makes me happy.

20. I'm glad I have a best friend that worries about me. He's a great guy, despite his occasional streaks of dim-wittedness. I dunno where I'd be without him.

21. If you're reading this, I'm glad you are. That makes me happy, and I'm thankful you took the time out of your day to do so. You're terrific.

The Problems With Biology, Part II

Part I

Oh, I'll get to the Earth Firsties later, but I have to bring up this quote I found on an animal rights website.
Everything we know about HIV and AIDS has been learned from studying people with the disease. But that has not prevented millions of pounds and animals' lives from being wasted in a fruitless search for an animal 'model'. "What good does it do you to test something [a vaccine] in a monkey? You find five years from now that it works in the monkey, and then you test it in humans and you realise that humans behave totally differently from monkeys, so you've wasted five years" - Dr Mark Feinberg, leading AIDS researcher
But of course everything we know about HIV we learned from humans - that's why it's not Mus-IV or Arabidopsis-IV. But tests were needed to show that this monstrosity wasn't transmitted by common rodents such as the mouse. And there's at least one prominent blogger who seems to think that the HIV/AIDS connection is spurious at best anyway, so that throws a whole new wrench into the testing. I'm just assuming that the AR groups are going to want to infect more humans so we can do more research. *Shakes head*

After the Animal Rights groups, the next thing people think of when they hear "Biology" are the "Earth First" groups, or maybe Captain Planet (on a side note, I hated that show). These people make the Animal Rights groups look benign. Normally, I leave the abortion debate out of my comments, but I don't see how any organization can claim to be as pro-nature and living things as these people are and support abortion. I'm positive that if I was a scientist and injected a pregnant cat with a solution that would cause an abortion, these people would have my head. But no matter - consistent views aren't exactly a sticking point for these people. A lot of them secretly or even openly wish for the demise of a large number of the human race, calling us such names as "the virus", "the humanpox" and a disease.

Dave Foreman, in a 1995 interview basically said that he didn't really care about the ensuing industrial crash that his practices (environmentalism) would cause, and in fact claimed that it was inevitable. For those of you who don't know, that man is one of the founders of Earth First, and the one whom the above "humanpox" quote is attributable to. This is one of the groups that the left in general supports - and they don't mind the destruction of 5 to 95% of the entire human race! You're nothing more than a "disease", you know. Why more people aren't offended at this, I can't understand. For these people, it's humans=bad. Even the Democratic Party of the United States has its limit, and I'm sure even your average Kerry voter would say "Whoa, whoa, whoa - that's too far."

This whole "Destruction of Industrialism" gets me to the actual point of Part II - the Kyoto Protocol and Global Warming. Climateprediction.net has been running computer simulations for years, and as you can see from the link, the results are incredibly varied and don't really give much of a hint as to anything besides "Temperatures increase for 15 years and level off! Margin of error is 200 percent!". People have reported that when data from the 1970's is plugged in to a climate predictor for the 1980's, it doesn't even come close to the actual results from the '80's. So we don't even know if global warming exists.

And if it does exist? What's the first thing that will happen. A rise in sea levels due to polar ice cap melting, of course. How high are the sea levels compared to where they should be, on average in the last 500 million years? They're at their third lowest point in that time period. (Elliott, 2000; Story of Life, The: Richard Southwood, 2001). 400 mya, sea levels were approximately 400 meters above were they are now! That's one-quarter of the way to Denver!

How about those CO2 emissions? How do they stack up all time? While Carbon Dioxide is on a 50-year increase, it's also in general, on a 30-million year decline. What would environmentalists living in the Silurian period do, when Carbon Dioxide levels were between 5 and 7 times higher than they are now? (ibid) Probably whine and mope a lot, of course. We're killing the WORLD! >_< As recenty as 2003, astronomers noted global warming - on Mars. I wonder how humans are causing that. I especially want to know why it's "natural" on Mars but is automatically humans' fault here on Earth. Environmentalism is basically a religion - and they're most decidedly pushing the mythical "separation of church and state" boundary here. Would the populace be so trusting if they knew that this was a political and religious movement? Somehow I doubt it.

Now, we could certainly use less pollutants in the environment (see Los Angeles), and the idea of a non-gasoline powered car should most decidedly be looked into. However, we need time. And we need something to pass the time to use as fuel before these new-fuel powered cars become feasible AND cost-effective. That's why we need more oil for the time being. There are only three real sources of oil we can use: The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Saudi Arabia, and Iraq.

Environmentalists (and conservationists, a similar term with kinder connotations that politically adept environmentalists call themselves) have protested drilling in the ANWR, and a good number of them believe that they're doing it to save the animals. With proper support (and this is where the conservationists SHOULD be), these animals can be kept alive and the oil can be drilled for. If we do not drill the ANWR, only the other two alternatives remain.

Remember 9/11? Where were 15 of the 19 hijackers from? That's right - Saudi Arabia. We get a LOT of our oil from Saudi Arabia. They use this money to A) Keep themselves in power, and B) Fund terrorists. The less money we give to Saudi Arabia, the less money goes to terrorists. But if we don't give the money there, and we don't drill in the ANWR, what's left?

That's right - option C. President Bush did the environmentalists and company a HUGE favor by invading Iraq and taking out Saddam - and they HATE him for it. Not only did we give 20 to 30 million people a taste of freedom (and start a domino-effect throughout the region), we gain a valuable source of oil, which means less of our monies have to go to Saudi Arabia. That means less funding for terrorists (not counting Iranian and Syrian subsidized Hizb'allah - they're next). Not only does it harm the Saudis, but it gives the greens more time to develop the next fuel - a process they should be working on instead of complaining about the war in Iraq.

So completely indirectly, President Bush is giving the Earth-lovers (which we should all be to an extent) an opportunity to end the world's demand for oil. If there's no more oil, there's no more WARS FOR OIL (as the signs say) - and with no oil contracts, that means no Halliburton! And with no Halliburton, there's no Jeff Gannon! (Sorry - I got WAY too carried away). I don't see any problems wanting a world that has no dependence on oil. We've given them time, but they are wasting it.

The Problems With Biology, Part I

Here I am, a college student at the University of Maryland. Still just an ickle freshie, but I've got time. I've thought about what I've wanted to do, but certain things just keep popping up. I've always had an interest in psychology and neurology, but biology itself has just always appealed to me.

The advent of blogs and the continued fall of MSM have made one idea stand out sharply from the rest. We have seen conservatives in the news getting their voices heard more and more. The media is finally being checked with their lies on politics. When we finish this, there's another step we can take.

Finally getting leftist ninnies to stop ruining biology and the life sciences.

"How can this be done?" You ask. "There's nothing inherently 'scientific' about the life sciences." There are even some of you saying "All life science is basically deriving from Darwin's theories and therefore bunk anyway." (I personally don't subscribe to THAT particular view, but there are some of you out there who do, and I accept that fact - will you ever hear a leftist say that?)

Without biology, medicine is basically dead in the water. Chemistry can only bring us so far in this field. We need to know how we work, what makes what tick, and how we can make it better. There is a fine line between chemistry and biology here, but it's there. We can look amongst our genes to find what makes us age, and how to stop it. There are so many benefits that the study of biology can bring to us, even for the hard-right religious types.

The topics of environmentalism and animal rights are hard to ignore. That's what people think of when they think of "Biology", and it's a good connection. However, what has occurred with these two branches of biology is absolutely shameful. How can one ignore animal rights' groups like PETA, and earth-first groups such as the [USA-brand terrorist] Earth Liberation Front? It's very difficult.

According to PETA's website, they were founded in 1980, in Norfolk, Virginia to persuade people "that animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment." It kinda seems like a noble goal, until you realize these people aren't proselytizing like a normal religion - they're litigating. If you don't do as they say, they will sue the pants off you. They claim 550 cosmetics companies have acquiesced to their demands. They abhor animal testing. These are a people who do not care how many humans die, as long as the animals are not harmed. Never mind the fact that humans are animals too.

However, there have been some improvements at PETA lately. Instead of hounding you with your "become a vegan/vegetarian you violent animal murderer" campaign, and have recently been caught showing the most ethical way to kill animals for food. Now, eating a whole lot of meat is indeed bad for you, but a strictly plants diet doesn't get you everything that you need. We need the four major organic familes (carbohydrates [sugars], lipids [fats], proteins, and nucleic acids), and plant life just doesn't get it done properly. While meat certainly should be limited (especially red meat), it can't really be ignored.

PETA is full of the lefties. They've taken the communist mantra "Everyone is equal", and turned it even FARTHER left, saying "Every ANIMAL is equal." I do have to note that PETA doesn't really distinguish between plants and fungi, which should be something that everyone who's taken a single biology course should know. At least they haven't gone and started campaigning for "Plants' Rights", "Fungal Rights", "Protist Rights", or "Prokaryotic Rights" - they still let us eat those. (Protista are especially delicious - gotta love the nori).

But I digress - as I was saying, they've taken the communist mantra even further. Not only was the first saying wrong, but this is even MORE so. The groups look at what the animals are, but not what they have done. It is a simple fact that only humans have ever learned calculus. Horses cannot do mathematics (no matter what you Clever Hans fans have to say). Kitties, while cute and adorable, cannot create medicines to increase their own lifespan. We can. Whether the animal rights organizations want to admit it or not, A) Humans are animals, and B) Humans are better than any animal that has ever lived. Though it is disputed, I'm also pretty sure that domestic animals do live longer than feral animals on the whole. (Any evidence on either side would be appreciated - I'm going from personal experience)

Then again, such a realization would lead to the creation of a "Human Rights" group. But hey, if they were as effective as getting out the message as the Animal Rights groups, we wouldn't need the United Nations - and for all the howling Dems out there reading that sentence, improved human rights would probably lessen the need for the use of force by the United States. Wouldn't everyone be happy with that scenario? Probably not, but hey - I tried.

The Conservatives can start by taking the AR groups message and applying it to humans. We could actually convince the UN to do something in Sudan (not "The" Sudan) that wouldn't make Michael Jackson proud. The spreading of democracy is a great first step, but the focus should eventually turn to "Improving Human Rights throughout the globe"

This could be the first step in making biology less scornful. Of course, this would require the less religious of the right to take a step forward. Biology should not be considered "Animal Rights" and "Earth First!" - it's so much more than that. Taking the luster off of AR groups would be an excellent first step to putting biology back on the road to being a serious science.

Friday, March 11, 2005

We Have Categories

Yes, indeed. We have categories. It only took me 4 hours to figure out how they work, and I'm fixing them up as we speak. Hooray.

Update: 8:55 PM - Categorization complete. For now.

Now this can revert to being an open thread. Have fun, peoples, and enjoy the baba gannouj! ^_^

Thursday, March 10, 2005

TB4 Roundup

...Someone shoot these people. No - seriously. Two ten point leads, and an eventual -22 point differential later, and you lose by 12. It looks like barring extreme pity, that the Terps are headed to the NIT for the first time in quite a while.

Thankfully, the 21-9 Lady Terrapins have no such worries. Good to see SOME people doing their job.

Elsewhere in the world of sports that I follow:
NHL: Still no NHL season. @$$holes. The Blackhawks have yet to win a Stanley Cup with more than 6 teams in the NHL.
NBA: Bulls are 31-27. Surprising. I'm also surprised that the Lakers have fallen into 9th. Don't expect them to stay there. At least not this season.
MLB: Rockies are 7-2 in Spring Training. I know it's Spring Training (and the Indians have the best record in the AL), but when was the last time I saw the Rockies 5 games over .500? I'll take this for the rest of the week as they drop to 8-9.
NFL: Bears grabbed Mushin Muhammed. Good move. Then they signed him for six years. VERY not good move. The guy is worth a two-year deal at most, because then he'll be 33.

Paying attention to sports tends to give me a nasty headache. That, and the f*cking light in my dorm burnt out. Today was not really my day.

Btw, just so I don't forget: Brokaw, Rather, Jennings... Back in 2000, I woulda thought these three would be on till at least 2012. >_<

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