Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Filthy Lie - The International Instapundit

Long time no lie. Got my message from Harvey this week. Here's the transcript.

"I recently read about a tiny Austrian villiage (which is pronounced "Fooking") that keeps getting its signs stolen, because the name of village means something entirely different in English. [I have a feeling he was googling for something else, but will leave it at that - TB]

Which sets me to wondering if this sort of thing happens a lot.

Your Filthy Lie Assignment this week is to answer the question:

What does the word "Instapundit" mean in foreign languages?"

I sent my crack reporting team, Dawn, Glizzenn, and my new employee Louie out to do the heavy lifting on this one. I had to hunt down the Magic School Bus, which was apparently left to become scrap in New Orleans. Man, that meme annoys me. After I had recovered it (a la Luke's ship in SW: Episode V), I headed out to do some research on my own.

What I discovered may shock and appall you. Or it may not.

In Afrikaans, Instapundit means "What the hell are you doing?!" and is roughly synonymous with "Wat die hel doen jy?" (here)

In Arabic, Instapundit is roughly translated as a sarcastic "Hello, al-Lawyer". Arabic has probably the best curses out of any language. (here)

In Assyrian, Instapundit means "What is the capital of Assyria?" (I believe the answer was supposed to be Nineveh, if you're curious)

In Bosnian, Instapundit is used as a derogatory term referring to something done by the 1st Clinton Administration.

In Somali, it's used to refer to something done by the 1st Clinton administration's second term, but I won't go into further detail.

In Chinese (Mandarin), "Glenn Reynolds The Instapundit" is Capitalist Pig Dog propaganda worthy of capital punishment.

In Cantonese Chinese, it refers to what we Americans like to call "Yo Mama's So Fat" jokes.

In Dutch, "Instapundit" means "I love gooooooooooooold!" (No, that joke never gets old)

By a coincedence that not even Chomsky can explain, Instapundit means "Puppy Blender" in the following languages:

Bulgarian
English
Farsi
Gaelic
Indonesian
Korean (I could not avoid the obligatory joke here)
Norwegian
Russian (almost - see below)
Surinamese
Tagalog (Filipino)
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese (I'm on a ROLL here)

In Polish, Instapundit means "One who is blended BY puppies." Those silly Poles. *adds another group to his list of 'people I've offended recently' list*

In both French and Quebecois, "Instapunditry" means "Those Stingy Americans!"

In Germany, "Instapundit" refers to any webpage deemed inappropriate by the government.

In Greek, it's not pronounced or spoken, but spelled with Classical Greek letters, including seven omegas. It's apparently akin to saying "Belgium" anywhere else in the universe.

In both Hebrew and Yiddish, it means "Joooooooo!"

Italy pronounces it "It's-a me, Instapundittio", meaning "It's-a me, Mario!" *another checkmark on the list*

The Japanese are thankful it doesn't have any Ls or Rs in it. (another checkmark). Inu-tsuponuditu can refer to either to the anime Inu-Yasha (starring a non-blended dog demon), or a some sort of nudist, judging by the last syllable. My Japanese is quite rusty.

In Klingon, "Instapundit" is interchangable with "KHAAAAAAAAN!"

In Kurdish, it means "Give us our damn state, Americans!"

In Punjabi, it's basically akin to a lawyer asking his client "Kuriyah de naal zabardasti kyoo karda ugaay tera balat kar da case chalda ya?" (once again, the Insultmonger, and I probably just offended the entire Sikh community)

"Instapundit" is Russian for "Mr. Gorbachev, blend me this puppy."

In Spanish, "Instapunditar" is a verb meaning "to blend", whereas "Instipunditir" means "to sue".

Finally, In Zulu, Instapundit means "The Pundit Who Posts Instantaneously [or instantly] (or incessantly)", just as IMAO means "FUN!"

Oh yeah - I almost forgot... LATIN!

Instapundo Delenda Est!

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