The HP Weakling Power-Jack Problem!
And no one on the support line claimed to be familiar with this.
F. U. H. P.
F. O. A. D.
An unfortunate intrusion by reality.
The HP Weakling Power-Jack Problem!
The guy next door is having computer problems.
If there's ANYTHING I hate more than the New England Patriots or the other Boston sports teams, it's Hewlett Packard. I am NEVER, EVER doing business with that company AGAIN.
I DID manage to commandeer my roommate's computer... for now.
Will someone please send me a link to any flash game where I get to cause great harm and suffering to the members of the New England *cough cough spit* Patriots, and especially Corey F*cking Dillon and Adam F*cking Vinaiteri, as well as "Golden Boy" TB?
Right when I start hitting a groove with two big days in a row, my computer craps out on me again. I called the company, and basically demanded they deal with the hardware problems intrinsically built into this model computer.
http://www.weather.com/blog/weather/8_7549.html?from=blog_permalink_mainindex - This proves it. I could have SWORN I saw that yesterday, but convinced myself that I had imagined it. Looks like it DID happen.
It seems as though my few readers are confused about the whole Filthy Lie saga I've got going with Evil Glenn and Karl Rove here.
Logging on to the internet both yesterday and today, this is the message I recieved.
"Error logging into AIM: Error code 29: We think this means the AIM/ICQ servers are sick of seeing connections from your IP address. Wait a few minutes and try again."
Second verse, same as the first.
Current record: 13-19, after a 5-11 week 2.
According to anonymous sources, the University of Maryland marching band will be removing "American Idiot" from future shows due to complaints. I thought we righties were supposed to unoffendable. I mean, it's not like there's LYRICS or anything in the show.
The Bears (38-6), Rockies (7-1), and the Blackhawks (3-o) all managed to eek out a victory today, Sunday, September 18, 2005.
And that's all there is to say about that.
An e-mail I sent (though I heavily edited it for the blog) Thoughts on the hypotheses?
Amendments II, IV, V
Ogre celebrated it a day early, but there's certainly nothing wrong with celebrating the Constitution.
∫ ex = ex + c
I am in preparation to commit my most unethical act yet, and what could possibly be the most preposterous thing I will ever do. Just a warning.
Yes, all the humor was to soften you up to read this at The Blue State Conservatives. (h/t Emperor Misha)
For some reason, my Week 1 post was never put onto the website and I never noticed.
The four of us stood on the hilltop, watching the scene below us unfold. Karl Rove and Evil Glenn had stumbled upon the IMAO plothole - both of them had, at one point or another, been declared the most evil human being alive. And now they were going to settle the matter, in my house. Or... what was to be left of it.
About Evil Glenn - The Filthiest Lie
"Instapundit has been the #1 blog in the Ecosystem since more or less the beginning of time, but what do we REALLY know about the blogosphere's Dark Overlord? Sure, there's a crappy little "About Me" page that hasn't been updated in over 3 years, but it's a little short on detail.
DEFINITELY overdue for an update.
Your Filthy Lie Assignment this week is to answer the question:
What vital information is missing from Instapundit's "About Me" page?"
At first, I thought Rush was off his rocker (Dean ALWAYS seems to think that), but I quickly realized that it wasn't Rush, but it was... Cobra Commander? Or at the very least, it was Harvey doing a poor CC impression. This wasn't going to take much work - all I had to do was ask Glizzenn about HIS past, seeing as he was Evil Glenn's "Afric-American Pup-Blendaclone-5000" and I would basically get all the information I need.
"Yo, yo, mah nizzle, you know I'm Glizzenn and you'd betta recognize!" I cut him off mid-sentence and offered him a robo-puppy smoothie for his vital information.
"Well, as you nizzle, I'm a Law Profesizzle at the Universizzle of Tennessizzle." Once again, I cut him off and flipped the switch on his collar from "Glizzenn" to "Glenn". A difficult task when he's up and "groovin' around". He began reciting all the information programmed into him by his evil creator.
"Well, who am I? Who is Glizzenn Reynolds? I'm a libertarian, and a law professor at the University of Tennessee. Tennessee. That means I could not have caused the L.A. Blackout. My interests include nanotechnology, and puppy smoothies. Note my connection to WonderDog records. When I fool all the readers of my blog into purchasing nanotechnological products (not including that misnamed Ipod Nanomajig), I shall then introduce my fetish for Picotechnology, and failing that, Femtotechnology, which is the science of creating extremely tiny fembots. But you didn't hear that.
It has often been rumored that I worship Satan. Wrong. Satan worships me. I think it was after the whole Saddam Hussein debacle, but one day, things just got turned around. Perhaps he got into my penguin stash, but maybe it was just all the stuffed animals I have lying around. Whatever the case may be, I am the most evil force in the universe."
At that point, the lights went out, and flashed back on. I turned around to see Dawn tumbling off the couch. I hadn't even noticed she was there. Behind her stood the true Evil Glenn, cackling maniacally.
"You're all fools! I created Glizzenn using only 15% of my true logic! While he did reveal my Fembot technology, and the truth about Satan, that is all you will learn about me! You will not find out about my true reasons for doing the robot, nor my obsession with this little red book here."
I stopped him. "Uh - that's my little black book. Could I have it back?"
He handed it back. "Feh - far too young for me regardless. I meant this little RED book of quotes by the great Mao Tse-Reyno-TUNG! Mao Tse-Tung! Yes... you will NEVER learn the truth in regards to THAT. You'll also never learn that I'm the evil one who created calculus."
"Calculus isn't evil, Evil Glenn."
"Nope. All good."
"Pretty cool, actually."
"YOU B@$-" as I charged Evil Glenn, a Nano-field appeared around him and prevented me from progressing towards him. He continued to laugh his evil laugh. "Hello. LAWYER." I failed to see what that had to do with anything.
"I am the Dark Lord, Evil Glenn. There is no force on Earth, perchance the Universe or the Diversityverse that can handle me. The book of punditry even states that-"
The lights went out again. Dawn screeched, jumped from the couch onto my back, and crushed my L3 and L4 vertebrae. Impressive for someone who can't weigh 110 pounds. I was still in excruciating pain, and was not prepared for what happened next.
Louie stumbled in the door, totally smashed. But that wasn't it. Behind him stood a mysterious hooded figure, who seemingly had risen from the shadows. Glizzenn was terrified. I was speechless. Evil Glenn could only scowl.
"The Book of Punditry is not a toy, Glenn. You don't know what you're doing. You're nothing but a fool. A fool who drinks puppy-smoothies. Rove lifted his hand, and reached into a magically appearing hat. It was a blender. And a bunny. Even Evil Glenn had to wince at what happened next.
After Rove wiped the smoothie from his lips, he turned to Evil Glenn again. "A fool. You are a fool. You betrayed my trust in you. I felt you could have been something special - an evil genius the likes of which the world has never seen. Instead you are still but a lowly puppy-blender."
Evil Glenn interrupted him. "I have only shown the blogosphere less than five percent of my true power and evil, Rove. You are the fool. As a grand wizard once said, "Once, I was but the learner, now I am the master!"
Rove cackled. "First, that wasn't a wizard. Second, you got the line wrong. I have no time for amateurs and LAWYERS such as yourself. Unless, of course, you wish to prove ME wrong."
I cringed. Six years of watching ridiculous Japanese cartoons and movies cued me in to what was about to occur. I had Glizzenn grab the unconscious (and hung-over) Louie, and I quickly shuffled them and Dawn out of the building. We hopped into the car, sure that this would be the last time we would ever see this part of town.
Coming Soon: The Clash of the Evil Titans!
In conjunction with the Filthy Lie:
Who Is More Evil - Karl Rove or Glenn Reynolds?
While reading the New England Republican today, I came upon this post.
"New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin crossed party lines Monday and endorsed Republican Bobby Jindal for governor. "Bobby Jindal understands that all of Louisiana benefits from and needs a strong New Orleans," Nagin said. With Jindal as governor, "New Orleans and the rest of the state will be partners, not adversaries - which is critical because we can only move this state forward together."
What's this jig about flagging objectionable entries on blogger now? I'm not seeing hide nor hair of it. If it does come to pass, I'll have to up and outta here, if you get my drift.
On 9/11/2001, I was in my French class, listening to my teacher discuss wine, women, and cheese. Mainly cheese. I'm not kidding.
A very good game with a disappointing finish.
Okay, all things being equal, those who have never actually been a slave themselves are not allowed to compare things to slavery. This also goes for Jesse Jackson.
Me: Sorry, but the fact that both my parents have lost their jobs ONLY during Democratic Administrations makes me weary of casting a vote for the Democratic Party, among other reasons.
Dean: Race was factor in deaths (FoxNews)
Donating blood for Katrina Victims at 4:15 tomorrow.
Are there any countries or disputed national/secessionist movements whose flags contain the color pink? I think there are 3 or 4 ethnic/national separatist movements whose flags have purple (though I find no national flags with purple) on them, but none have pink.
Long time no lie. Got my message from Harvey this week. Here's the transcript.
Which sets me to wondering if this sort of thing happens a lot.
Your Filthy Lie Assignment this week is to answer the question:
What does the word "Instapundit" mean in foreign languages?"
I sent my crack reporting team, Dawn, Glizzenn, and my new employee Louie out to do the heavy lifting on this one. I had to hunt down the Magic School Bus, which was apparently left to become scrap in New Orleans. Man, that meme annoys me. After I had recovered it (a la Luke's ship in SW: Episode V), I headed out to do some research on my own.
What I discovered may shock and appall you. Or it may not.
In Afrikaans, Instapundit means "What the hell are you doing?!" and is roughly synonymous with "Wat die hel doen jy?" (here)
In Arabic, Instapundit is roughly translated as a sarcastic "Hello, al-Lawyer". Arabic has probably the best curses out of any language. (here)
In Assyrian, Instapundit means "What is the capital of Assyria?" (I believe the answer was supposed to be Nineveh, if you're curious)
In Bosnian, Instapundit is used as a derogatory term referring to something done by the 1st Clinton Administration.
In Somali, it's used to refer to something done by the 1st Clinton administration's second term, but I won't go into further detail.
In Chinese (Mandarin), "Glenn Reynolds The Instapundit" is Capitalist Pig Dog propaganda worthy of capital punishment.
In Cantonese Chinese, it refers to what we Americans like to call "Yo Mama's So Fat" jokes.
In Dutch, "Instapundit" means "I love gooooooooooooold!" (No, that joke never gets old)
By a coincedence that not even Chomsky can explain, Instapundit means "Puppy Blender" in the following languages:
Korean (I could not avoid the obligatory joke here)
Russian (almost - see below)
Vietnamese (I'm on a ROLL here)
In Polish, Instapundit means "One who is blended BY puppies." Those silly Poles. *adds another group to his list of 'people I've offended recently' list*
In both French and Quebecois, "Instapunditry" means "Those Stingy Americans!"
In Germany, "Instapundit" refers to any webpage deemed inappropriate by the government.
In Greek, it's not pronounced or spoken, but spelled with Classical Greek letters, including seven omegas. It's apparently akin to saying "Belgium" anywhere else in the universe.
In both Hebrew and Yiddish, it means "Joooooooo!"
Italy pronounces it "It's-a me, Instapundittio", meaning "It's-a me, Mario!" *another checkmark on the list*
The Japanese are thankful it doesn't have any Ls or Rs in it. (another checkmark). Inu-tsuponuditu can refer to either to the anime Inu-Yasha (starring a non-blended dog demon), or a some sort of nudist, judging by the last syllable. My Japanese is quite rusty.
In Klingon, "Instapundit" is interchangable with "KHAAAAAAAAN!"
In Kurdish, it means "Give us our damn state, Americans!"
In Punjabi, it's basically akin to a lawyer asking his client "Kuriyah de naal zabardasti kyoo karda ugaay tera balat kar da case chalda ya?" (once again, the Insultmonger, and I probably just offended the entire Sikh community)
"Instapundit" is Russian for "Mr. Gorbachev, blend me this puppy."
In Spanish, "Instapunditar" is a verb meaning "to blend", whereas "Instipunditir" means "to sue".
Finally, In Zulu, Instapundit means "The Pundit Who Posts Instantaneously [or instantly] (or incessantly)", just as IMAO means "FUN!"
Oh yeah - I almost forgot... LATIN!
Instapundo Delenda Est!
Yeah - I kinda forgot to post about that. I was exhausted.
That's the capacity of M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore, where Navy plays host to the Maryland Terrapins football team tomorrow night. The Mighty Sound of Maryland marching band will be performing at halftime. In front of a sold-out stadium. That's right - over 70,000 people will be there to hear us (music with your wait in the concession stand, anyone)?
Gmail. Where did this go wrong? My #1 AOL account has 7 spams in the spam folder (and 2 in the inbox that the spam filter missed). My University of Maryland account has 207 in the spam folder after one year, and caught everything.