Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Famous People (Precision Guided Humor)

Mail time. Assignment from Dr. Sparks. Check. Steroids from Raffy Palmeiro? Check. Assignment from Harvey? Yep. Here we go. Let's seeeeee what it says.

"Your Precision Guided Humor Assignment this week is to answer the question:

What famous person/people would you demand to speak to, and what would you say to him/her/them?"

Interesting. I suppose he's kinda on a Cindy Sheehan-esque tilt today. I've got quite a few famous people that I would like to demand a meeting with.

1) Ralph Nader: I've seen him speak, and I demand to know how he got to be so nutty. I mean - the marijuana can't do ALL that.

2) Sisqo: I demand to know why you slept with my roommate when I was less than 100 yards away. Seriously.

3) Glenn Reynolds: In 100 words or MORE, how did you get to be so evil?! I'd also get the recipe for those puppy smoothies. I WOULD, however, stay away from the penguin porn.

4) I would ALSO demand a meeting with George W. Bush. I would ask him how he manages to get all those kickbacks to Halliburton ready while only the elite progressive blogosphere even suspects it. I'd also give my props to him for being born in Connecticut and pretending he's not from there. My kind of president.

5) I would demand a meeting with Bill Gates. I despise Microsoft to no end. Unlike with Wal-Mart, I can understand the vitriol hurled at Microsoft.

6) My sixth meet would be with Hugo Chavez. While I wouldn't call for his assassination (unlike some morons, PR), I would certainly kick him where it hurts.

7) I would meet with Simon Carrington (formerly of the King's Singers), and ask him why people who make their living in Connecticut (as he now does) are such a--holes.

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