Saturday, April 23, 2005

If I Could Be...

Well, I've been out sick (4/20), with a crashed computer (4/21), and studying for an exam (4/22) - but now I'm here, and I see that I've been tagged with a meme. Sounds like a plan... except instead of answering 5, I'll answer all of them, just to give me an opportunity to write an incredibly lengthy post. Thanks, moehawk!

If I could be a scientist... I would be a neuropsychologist, and find out what makes people have the urge to blog.
If I could be a farmer... I would be paid by the government not to plant crops
If I could be a musician... I would be a trumpet player in a Philharmonic
If I could be a doctor... I would be a neurologist, because I love studying the human brain
If I could be a painter... I would be someone who painted important things, like buildings.
If I could be a gardener... I would have green thumbs, of course.
If I could be a missionary... I would NOT go to proselytize cannibals, as missionaries seem to be apt to do.
If I could be a chef... I would actually post in the carnival of recipies
If I could be an architect... I'd have to be a lot more creative
If I could be a linguist... I would have a very cushy job.
If I could be a psychologist... I would again, be a neuropsychologist.
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... I would be leading the Rockies to an 11-5 record instead of a 5-11 one. (I could say the same for the Bears...)
If I could be a lawyer... I would defend against class-action lawsuits and blend puppies. I hear that's 50 percent of the Tennessee Bar Exam.
If I could be an innkeeper... I would make my inn look like it was from a Video game RPG or something...
If I could be a professor... I would call the AFT a bunch of "Little Andropovs" and see how quickly it takes me to get fired. I would also blend puppies. I hear it's part of the PRAXIS exam in one particular state.
If I could be a superhero... I'd be immigration dude... and get sued by the ACLU.
If I could be a writer... I would write happy stories where the "goth" kids realize how they're all conforming to each other and actually quit being so f*cking cynical. We need more of those stories.
If I could be a llama-rider... I already am. Next question?
If I could be a bonnie pirate... I would market my own line of pirate thongs.
If I could be the Pope... I'd laugh at the American Catholic Church. Repeatedly. I would also demand my own comic book series and Saturday Morning Cartoon show. I'd also have a Superman costume that had a big red "P" on it - for SuperPope. That would be totally sweet.

Also: Check out (via ASV)

I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you want it, just take it away.

Update: Tom Blogical and Scsiwuzzy
have been tagged. Inform the Ogre!

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