Alrighty, I'm going to take the headlines Firefox gives me and see if I can make anything out of them, a la basil or moehawk. I'll only do it if I'm REALLY, REALLY bored. Unless noted, these can be found under the BBC's "latest headlines" on your Firefox browser. If you don't have a Firefox browser, what's wrong with you?
Poverty Targets May Be Missed
Jihadi Targets Never Are
Official Blasts Bush UN Nominee
Official later found killed with homemade shiv
BBC Unions Call For Strike Ballot
Rockies call for strike three, lose again
Football: Chelsea Reach Semis
Hillary ousted in primaries, GOP relieved
Indonesia Bans Army Business Ties
Navy Business Pants, Air Force Leisure Shoes, Pirate Thongs still allowed
Produce From Cloned Cattle "Safe"
Populace still unsure about beef-flavoured lettuce.
Poland Confirms Iraq Withdrawal
The Babaganoosh confirms Caffeine withdrawal
Fear of Hospital Hits Virus Fight
Virus visibly shaken at sight of doctors and needles
From my local paper, the New London Day:
Psychiatrist: Ross Looking To Go Out In A ‘blaze Of Glory'
Can't go out in blaze of sparks since Electric Chair was banned
New Method For Funding Schools Eyed By Coalition
France, Germany warn U.S. about funding unilaterally
Military Cuts Hit Hardest In Northeast
No one in New England supports the military anyway
Women On Both Sides Of Implant Debate
Men struggling to grasp the issues
Hundreds Of Palestinian Gunmen Sign Pledge To Halt Violence In Exchange For Jobs
Israelis reportedly "Very happy", and "Ungodly Gullible"
That's it for today. Enjoy the Baba Gannouj and get a good night's sleep.