Monday, April 25, 2005

Evil Glenn At BlogNashville (A Filthy Lie)

(Part IX of the Evil Glenn Saga)

Now, I've never been to Nashville, but this BlogNashville thing seems like a neat thing to cover. And cover it I shall. Well, I shalln't (shant?), but I'll send my trusty reporter and recently American-ized buddy Dawn to report for me. Just because I can have an original character of a different gender means nothing. She's not exactly original anyway - like an amalgamation of a couple classmates from back home. Stop laughing.

But anyway, I gave her a list of questions (and Glizzenn helped too), and paid for the airfare from Ronald Reagan, and she was off. On May 10, I received the clipboard back. Here's what it said.

Question 1: How do you react to the failure of your baseball league?
Evil Glenn: I was... chagrined. No... appalled. Maybe shocked, perhaps nauseated.

Question 2: What did you spend your tax rebate on?
Evil Glenn: A blender, duh. Next question.

Question 3: What did you do with the Good Glenn of Instapundit?
Evil Glenn: I can either refer you to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or Silence of the Lambs.

Question 4: Moving on... what allows you to blog at such an amazing pace?
Evil Glenn: You should know the answer to that.

Question 5: Whatever happened to Tom DeLay?
Evil Glenn: I crucified him for my black mass.

Question 6: Wait... what?

Question 7: What do you think about Nashville?
Evil Glenn: It's a very nice city. I must say though, there are NOT enough homeless people here. It's really quite depressing.

Question 8: Wuzzadem?
Evil Glenn: It's a silly little thing that thinks Howard Dean is the answer to something.

Question 9: What is the answer then?
Evil Glenn: 42. You should know that as well.

Question 10: Will you sign my chest?
Evil Glenn: Are you over 18?

Question 11: Um... yeah, why?
Evil Glenn: This guy will.

Question 12: I hear he likes whipped cream. Do you like whipped cream?
Evil Glenn: Please tell me that YOU came up with that question and not your Babaganoosh buddy.

Question 13: Actually, that was Glizzenn's. But back to the point - what's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Evil Glenn: 42 meters a second. Tell Glizzenn I shall rip out his circuits.

Question 14: Glizzenn is a robot?!
Evil Glenn: Of course Glizzenn is a robot. What did you think he was - a real boy?

Question 15: Why have you not yet bowed down to the Overlord of the Blog Dodecahedron?
Evil Glenn: One more smart-ass question like that and I'll be forced to do something not nice.

Question 16: What is the most enjoyable class you've ever taught?
Evil Glenn: Law 316 - How to not get sued for Blending Your Neighbor's Puppies.

Question 17: Is Michael Jackson guilty?
Evil Glenn: Is the Pope Catholic?

Question 18: I dunno. I heard from the Washington Post he was a Socialist.
Evil Glenn: The Washington Post is full of ninnies. That's not even a question, either.

Question 19: Is there any person with a home you would like to kill?
Evil Glenn: Anyone and everyone, but especially that Constantine guy from American Idol.

Question 20: He's so dreamy. Is there anything you regret?
Evil Glenn: Not putting postage on this clipboard that I'm mailing back along with this note saying that I've taken your reporter hostage again, you stupid Noosh.

Well, crap. I don't even know where he's headed after he leaves BlogNashville now.

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